Balance
by Wildjump
Summary: SPOILERS FOR RISE OF SKYWALKER! Ben and Rey's connection keeps him on the edge of life after he brings her back. With both of them now on the side of light, they set out together to restore true balance to the force without creating a new generation of dark force wielders. They decide that the only way to end the war between good and evil is to abolish them both completely.
1. Life and Death (1)

A/N: This story starts just after Rey dies in Rise of Skywalker and is completely non-cannon after that. Also, I am not completely knowledgeable about all of the Star Wars lore so if I make mistakes or fallacies then I apologize, it wasn't intentional. This truly is a story of my fictitious imaginings.

Summery:

SPOILERS FOR RISE OF SKYWALKER! Ben and Rey's connection keeps him on the edge of life after he brings her back. With both of them now on the side of light, they set out together to restore true balance to the force without creating a new generation of dark force wielders. They decide that the only way to end the war between good and evil is to abolish them both completely and start a new generation of neutral force wielders. This is their story.

Chapter 1: Life and Death

He felt it, like a crater opening up in his chest as he clung for his life to the edge of a cliff, the disturbance in the force that foretold her death. He was broken and in pain, but all of that felt numb compared to the soul crushing loss that was her death. Yet when he heaved himself over the edge in his desperate attempt to get to her before she faded, to hold her in his arms just once, somehow, he knew that a piece of her clung to life.

He made his way to her desperate and clumsy falling to the stone beside her and heaving her bodily with the little strength he had left so that her torso lay in his lab. He pulled her cooling body towards him and buried her face against his warm chest holding her against him for one blissful moment. He wasn't sure that he could do what needed to be done, but he was certain that if he failed it would mean the death of both of them.

Calming his mind and his breath he drew on that string of hope, the feel of her soft skin against his left hand as he held her, his palm against her chest, and found that bit if her life force that she had transferred to him when she had healed the saber wound, pushing it back into her through his palm. It wasn't enough, he had known it never would be, so he continued to push sending his own life force into her pushing every piece he could find into her body until he felt her hand come to cover his and looked down into her open glassy eyes.

She looked up at him in wonder, and for a few short moments they simply stared at each other, but the trance was broken when she asked, "Ben?"

He nodded and helped her sit up still gazing down at her, feeling what little life was left in him flickering, but then she smiled, her hand coming to rest on his face and the cold that he was sure would proceed his death was flooded with warmth. She leaned forward and kissed him and it was if a floodgate between them opened. Their bond, already strong as a dyad in the force dilated in aperture and the energy of the force flowed between them unrestricted. He could feel her, he had always been able to since her most suppressed and guarded feelings as he could with everyone around him, but now he could feel the here and now, the thoughts and feelings right on the surface. The feelings of joy, of relief, acceptance, and the tender tingling feeling of something newer and stranger that permeated it all made him smile as they pulled away and he saw the truth of it reflected in her eyes.

He raised his own hand to cup her cheek, but it trailed down the side of her face as he fell away from her, plunging into his own death content with his choice for once in his life.

"No!" Rey exclaimed leaning forward with him as he fell, her hand finding his cheek and trying to rouse him. "Ben, please, come on." She said more sternly than begging, but she wanted to beg. She knew she wasn't strong enough to bring him back as he had her, but perhaps if he had a small enough wound, maybe something over his heart to cause such harm… She used a touch of the force to rip his shirt away down the front, but as soon as her hands left his skin, he started to fade.

"No, Ben!" She said placing both hands on his now bare chest. Just as suddenly as he had begun to fade from under her, he was solid once more and she knew what she had to do. With one hand still on his chest she shirked his ripped shirt and, despite the protest in her screaming muscles lifted him over her shoulder so that his legs hung limply before her and his torso dangled behind. Keeping one hand on his bare back, she used the other to balance herself the best she could as she made her way back out of the cave and the crag within.

She knew that flying the X-wing back while keeping one hand on Ben wasn't going to work so she did the only thing she could think of and dumped him in the pilot's seat as gently as she could and settled herself onto his lap strapping them both in. Something about it didn't feel right, not the closeness per say, but the radiating heat that his large form always put off was muted and cooling quickly. She closed her eyes and felt the thin veil of the force wavering around his form, stronger where they touched and weaker in places that clothing separated them.

With a sigh she tore strips from the draping on her cloths and tied his wrists to her forearms using her free hand and her teeth to ensure that they kept contact during the flight before starting up the engines of the X-wing and heading back to the rebel base. "Don't die on me now Ben," She said settling back into his chest and feeling the press of the bare skin of her shoulders against his broader frame as a reassuring presence, "You still have a lot of wrongs to right."

Rey was trembling lightly as she landed the X-wing on the side of the base closest to the med bay. There were already crew running out to greet her with bright smiles and cheers as she hit the release for the cockpit and heard the seals release. The cheerful advance of her rebel compatriots slowed and then stopped when they saw the dark figure behind her and she cursed mentally.

"Med evac-, I need med evac as soon as possible." She said taring the strips of cloth that bound her arms to Ben's and taking a firm grasp of his waist to throw him over her shoulder and haul him out of the cockpit once more. She could hear voices calling for the general, but her knees shook violently and her core trembled as her boots hit the forest floor.

Poe and Finn came barreling into view from the direction of the main command center shouting her name in relief, but they too stopped short when they saw who was hoisted on her shoulder supported half by her own meager remaining strength and half by the X-wing that she had propped them up against.

"Finn, it's Ben… he needs a med team fast. Finn, he brought me back." Rey all but begged.

Finn looked Rey and Kylo Ren over for a moment before looking Rey dead in the eyes. What he saw poured ice into his heart for a split second; he knew that look, that was the look of someone desperate to save someone they couldn't live without. He had looked that way after Rey often, and once, he had thought she had looked that way at him, but it was clear to him now that the dark man over her shoulder was the one person in the world Rey would never be whole without.

"Bring the med team. Give him everything he needs." Sensing the hesitation of the soldiers around him about helping the enemy, Finn bellowed, "That's Ben Solo, the last heir to the Skywalker line."

The med team rushed in and helped Rey get Ben onto a stretcher, "You can let him go now Ma'am, we've got him from here." A medical officer insisted trying to pry her hand away from his wrist as they began to head back into the base.

"No. My connection to him is the only thing keeping him here. He will disappear into the force if I let him go. I must stay in contact with him until he awakens again and I know he will not fade." Rey insisted keeping her hold on his bare wrist even as they covered his cold torso with a reflective blanket to keep him from losing any more body heat.

For a split second she thought that the officer might argue that it was best to just let him go, but the moment passed and they were making their way into the med-hanger where doctors and med droids surrounded the pair beginning their work. Rey was shuffled to the head of Ben's bed and out of there way where she pressed her hands firmly to each of his temples and focused on the force around them monitoring his progress.

It took nearly fourteen hours before Ben was stable enough to be moved to a private room under the watchful eye of Rey and a medical droid. She had refused to release some sort of contact with him in those hours and her passage to and from death's door was wearing on her considerably as the time passed. Once they were sequestered in a private room, the doctors and droids insisted that Rey try to get some sleep, so she used the force to draw a chair to the head of Ben's bed and sat above his still form. She let her hands rest on either side of his head over his collarbones, her petite fingers just brushing his bare chest and lay her head on the edge of his pillow so that she faced him in case he woke.

She fell asleep quickly, and it was Ben who woke next. All he could really comprehend was stiffness and warmth. He felt muggy like he was coming out of a drugged sleep and it took much longer him to fully open his eyes and take in his surroundings than usual. He was in a medical wing, but it wasn't one he was familiar with and certainly didn't belong to the First Order. A puff of warm air on the right side of his face made him turn his head to lay against a delicate, but muscular arm to find Rey's face inches from his own, her eyes closed in sleep and her breaths even and steady.

His eyes lingered on her soft peaceful face for long moments before they began to wander, following the long soft line of her tanned arm down to her right hand resting on his bare chest. Noticing her right hand brought about a warm awareness of her left, likewise positioned on the other side and he turned his head slowly to look at it bringing his own heavy fingers up to gently skim only the very tips of her tiny fingers before settling his palm over her own.

"She requires rest Patient Solo." Said a mechanical voice in front of him and Ben looked up slowly to see a medical droid watching them. Not wanting to wake Rey, he simply nodded shallowly. "You were in the hands of death when she brought you in. Without her direct contact you began to fade into the force. We have since stabilized you and rejuvenated your system with some samples your mother had stored for you as an infant. You will survive, but both you and Miss Rey require rest for full recuperation."

"If she needs rest then why isn't she in her own bed now that I'm stable?" Ben asked as quietly as he could.

"She refused to allow anyone to separate the two of you. If you wish for her to be removed from your person, I could wake her now and she could be moved to her own room." The med droid assured him, but the thought of Rey being moved out of sight stirred a pit of panic in his stomach that he could not control.

"Let her sleep," he insisted, "but bring in another bed in case she wakes and wishes to be more comfortable." Ben ordered.

"I am a medical droid," the droid said dully, "I do not take orders from my patients."

Ben ground his teeth, "Could you please ask someone then if a bed can be provided for Rey's comfort and health? Surely someone in this base is willing to provide minimal comforts to their hero."

The medical droid seemed to huff, but wheeled over to a service panel on the far side of the room and plugged into it. Ben turned his head slowly so that it was laying against Rey's arm again so that he could see her face and gradually, assured of her safety, his blinking slowed until he fell asleep with his face pressed into the warm sunny scent of the soft skin of her arm.

Sleeping thus, Ben awoke when Rey next stirred a few hours later, her arm muscles flexing lightly under his cheek and her face rustling against the corner of his pillow. She let out a low groan of pain as her back protested the position of sitting in a seat and leaning over a hospital bed to sleep for hours on end. Seeing that he was awake Rey sat up quickly, her hands remaining firmly on either side of his head across his collar bones, "Ben, you're awake."

Ben quirked a one-sided smile that she had thought she hated once upon a time and said, "So are you."

"You were dying. If I wasn't touching you, you tried to fade into the force…"

"I know, the medical droid told me." He said touching her wrist briefly in a show of comfort without presuming to be too familiar with her, "Thank you for saving me… you didn't have to."

"I... of course I did. And thank you for bringing me back. I'm sorry it cost you so much." She said one hand curling against his skin into a fist, but never breaking contact. It was like she was afraid that if she let him go, he would still fade away on her, but as Ben searched himself, he could feel how strong he was and how stable the force was within himself and knew that there was no danger.

Taking both of her hands in his he slowly and stiffly pulled himself into a sitting position on the bed so that he was looking down at her sitting in a chair below him clasping one of her small hands in each of his. "It's the best decision I've ever made, and I'd make it again even knowing it would bring about my own death, but that doesn't matter," he reminded her slowly lowering her hands onto the bed before her his palms pressed firmly over hers, "Because I'm here and I'm not fading anywhere." He assured her releasing her hands and pulling away from her contact completely for the first time in nearly eighteen hours. She gasped and reached for him, but he intercepted the hand with one of his own and lowered it to the mattress once more pulling back slowly with a reassuring stroke of his thumb.

Several moments passed as she watched him wide eyed to make sure he wasn't fading, but once she finally convinced herself he was fully solid she crumpled in relief. "You need rest." Ben insisted neglecting the desire to stroke the back of her head.

"but what if they come for you. They still see you as Kylo Ren and you're not strong enough too…"

Ben silenced her once again with a hand over her own, "You are no more in a state to fight anyone than I am right now, but I wasn't suggesting you go far." He said pointing to the extra hospital bed which had been courteously brought in by either the medical droid or someone he had contacted. "Rest." He beseeched her and her worries seemed quailed at least for the time being because she acquiesced without further argument.

Whoever had brought in the bed had placed it as far way from his own as possible, but still as she lay down, Rey turned to face him and Ben remained folded on his side facing her although he usually preferred sleeping on his back. They blinked at each other for several long minutes and Ben could feel her deep seeded unease with the distance between them. It bothered him less since he was between her and whoever might walk through the door, but he understood her unease and reached a hand out using the force to draw the hospital bed level with his own only about four feet away, but with equal access to the door. The initial flash of fear in her eyes when she realized he was using the force on her stabbed him like a knife, but those were wounds and worries only time could heal.

As the bed came to rest level with his own, she gave him a small appreciative smile and relaxed letting her eyes fall shut and her head slump into the soft pillow. He watched contentedly as her breathing slowed and deepened and he assumed she was asleep, although for a Jedi he knew, meditation could look much the same. After a while turned to lay on his back once more, only his head turned to face her and slowly drifted off as well.

When next he woke there were hushed voices coming from his right where Rey's bed was. He recognized the voice of the ex-storm trooper, whatever he was calling himself now, and the other was the pilot that had been on their radar so many times. They were Rey's friends, but from the sound of it they were arguing about him. Entering a state of meditation to keep the illusion of being asleep Ben focused on listening to their conversation.

"And I understand that Rey, but you have to understand how this looks to the forces…" the pilot was saying.

"He's Leia and Han's son, he's Luke's nephew. He's Ben…" She was arguing back.

"He's Kylo Ren and that's the reality of it Rey." The ex-trooper all but shouted back at her.

Rey's voice was deadly quiet and cold when she replied, "You think I don't know that? I fought him. I shared a mind with him, sometimes a body… the force that flows through me flows through him first and vise versa. I know who he is better than any of you, but that doesn't mean he isn't Ben Solo. Snoke was in his head from the time he was a child. He was never given a chance. I'm not defending the decisions he made. You will never hear me say that I approve of what he has done. I fought him harder than anyone, but I do vouch for the things that he can do. The thinks that he will do moving forwards. The world needs him."

"No Rey," The ex-trooper said an icy coldness to his voice, "The world wants him dead. You're the one that needs him."

There was a long pause of silence before Rey said, "I can tell you what I don't need anymore. The Rebellion. I won your war. Now we have bigger problems to fix like making sure another one doesn't start."

"Rey, we don't want you to leave. We still need you here." The pilot said, "There's still going to be unrest. People need their hope. Their beacon of light in all of this."

"I'm not a beacon of light; I can't be." Rey said and Ben heard her bedding compress as she flopped back against it.

"What are you talking about Rey? Come on. You're not the problem; he is." It was the ex-trooper again, not that Ben blamed him for the sentiment.

"I'm not so sure… What do you think Ben? Is the dark side really the problem?" Rey asked her hair making shuffling noises against her pillow.

Her companions started and Ben let out a sigh from his nose cracking open his eyes and joining a conversation he really felt he was best left out of. "If the argument is whether it is you or I that the resistance detests, then I would say me."

Rey snorted and rolled her eyes before looking back to her companions, "We won't stay long. We have other things to attend to, but pull together a long range com device to go along with the transport ship I asked for and we'll be there if you ever need us."

"You can't be serious about going off into open space with just him? What if he kills you?" Finn asked throwing up his hands in frustration.

"Can't you feel it?" Rey asked narrowing her eyes at him suspiciously. "I know you get bits and pieces from the force Finn. Focus on it, on us… what do you feel."

"The same as always," Finn said having not even closed his eyes yet, "The force, blazing like a sun in each of you and between you a rope of…" He trailed of and Ben just rolled his eyes as Rey smiled. "A flood…" Finn's voice was distant and unsure, "Like a charcoal drawing that's been blurred."

"Every ounce of the force that resides within him flows through me and vise versa. We are a dyad in the force and we've traded life force so many times now even that is not distinct between us. If he killed me, he would kill himself. He is no more capable of killing me than I am of killing him." Rey explained.

"I thought you only healed that one saber wound. That shouldn't have been enough to merge you." Finn argued as Poe sat back confused and stunned.

"While they were working on him. I fed my life force back into him as quickly as it was made to try to keep him alive. It's why I didn't recover as quickly as I usually do. He has more of my life force now than his own and when he brought me back, he gave me more of his." Rey said avoiding looking at the man in question whose intense gaze hadn't left her face since she called him out as being awake.

Finn let out a huff of breath and said, "I still don't understand why you have to leave."

"I'll explain it to you before we go, but for now…" Rey began.

"You want to tell him first." Finn finished for her unhappily.

"It's something we need to discuss and come up with a plan." Rey confirmed.

"Ya well it's something that…" Finn started heatedly, but Poe cut in saying calmly, "That we'll hear all about before they leave. Come on Finn let's go." Clapping the other man on the shoulder and beginning to steer him out of the room.

As the two men left Ben pushed himself up on the bed swinging his legs over the side so that he sat facing Rey. Rey mirrored his actions and said, "Sorry, we didn't mean to wake you. You could still probably use more sleep. You look like a mess."

Ben snorted, "So do you" and Rey laughed making him crack a small smile.

"We really do need to talk." Rey said looking down at her toes.

"We are talking" he reminded her earning himself a small smile and a shake of her head.

"I meant what I asked you earlier," Rey said looking up at him and meeting his dark eyes, "do you really think that the dark side is the reason we have so many wars?"

Ben was still for a long moment and when he spoke his voice was the slow deep tones she remembered hearing in her visions with him, "You've seen the atrocities they have committed; I've seen first-hand what lengths they will go to achieve their selfish goals. Between the dark and the light, it is the dark that wishes to rule at any cost… without the dark, there would be no wars."

Rey nodded thoughtfully, "But the force requires balance. There cannot be dark without light and likewise there cannot be light without dark. It makes me think that it was really the Jedi that created the Sith by creating an order of abject light they drove the creation of an order of complete darkness. I wasn't exposed to the force from a young age like you were, but I have always been your other half. By turning dark before I became a force user, one could argue that you drove me to the light…" Rey watched the wheels turning in Ben's big brooding head and took a deep breath to say the portion of her contemplations she knew would upset him. "Now that we are both on the side of the light, to whom will it fall to balance the dark?"

A look of shock and terror fell onto Ben's face and he stared at her for a long moment his hands beginning to shake and his lower lip beginning to quiver as it always did when he was upset. His eyes seemed to stare right through her as he said, "By turning to the light, I have forced the curse of my own pain and darkness on not one, but two innocent souls." His head dropped into his hands and he jerked back as if he was surprised to feel skin instead of leather. He stared at them form a moment before letting his head fall again, his lank hair curtaining around him as he shook.

Rey stood from her bed and walked over to him pressing herself up against his knees so that his head was buried against her sternum and his knees pressed against her hip bones. She wrapped her arms around him and soothed him saying, "We aren't going to let that happen. I have a plan. We have to restore balance to the force."

His voice was cold and dark, but assured when he said, "I have to go back to the dark side…"

"No Ben." Rey said squeezing him tighter, "We don't need the dark side if we aren't light."

Slowly Ben's head rose from his hands and he looked at her as if he was studying an odd plant, "All those times I tried to turn you from the light…"

"No, you were trying to turn me to the dark." She reminded him.

"Now you want to throw it all away?"

"I've read the Jedi texts Ben. All of them. The things they ask of a Jedi, the things one must do to be light, they're inhuman. To be a Jedi you must not fall victim to fear, anger, jealously, or desire. You cannot hold material connections; you must be separate from the world and reality and become connected to nothing but the pure unadulterated energy of the force. That isn't natural and in order to maintain balance someone as equally fearful, angry, jealous and attached to material connections must exist to counter it. Humans are naturally a blend of light and dark. We all fear, we all hate, and love and want, but we can control it, we can balance it, because we are an equal mix of both light and dark… Be human with me Ben and we won't need the dark side any more… or the light."

She was standing before him now, almost between his knees as he sat on the hospital bed, offering him the one thing he thought he could never have: the chance to just be himself. He gazed down at her like she was a messiah come to save his soul with all of the wonder and hope that was filling him. There had always been so much pressure being a Skywalker and a Solo to be light, to be on the side of good, but the world had changed, those people were dead, and now before him was his chance at redemption. "It will only work if we convince all of the force wielders." He reminded her amazed at how steady and dull his voice was compared to the flurry of activity going on inside him.

She nodded, "I think we'll need to start a school. Collect as many force wielders and force sensitive children as we can find and teach them everything they can learn. No more dark force moves and light force moves. Some will excel in areas where others are weak, but as long as we keep away from the truly horrifying, like whatever Palpatine used for his resurrection, they should be taught what they can learn and how to use it appropriately."

Ben's hands came up slowly to frame her face stopping short to give her time to move away, but when she didn't, he took her soft face in his large hands and smiled the second genuine full smile she had ever seen on his face. "Show me the way." He whispered resting his forehead against hers and making her smile in return.

"Well, first things first, showers are second door on the left." She said teasingly pointing to the door. Ben chuckled and released her and she stepped back so he could step down from the bed. "We'll find some things that suit you before we leave, but for now there are all sorts of men's standard issue in the men's locker room. Get cleaned up and put on something clean. Meet me back here and we'll get to work."

"As you wish." He said exiting the room and taking a left.


	2. Enemy Among Us (2)

Chapter 2: Enemy Among Us

She was already back seated on her bed and combing out her long, wet hair when he arrived. He had never seen her hair down and clenched his jaw as he found himself suddenly wondering what it would feel like to run his fingers through her dry silky locks some time. He entered the room a little self-consciously feeling awkward in the foreign cloths, but she gave him a small smile looping her hair up as she often wore it.

"I need to get some new cloths made as well. We can stop by the tailor and you can pick some fabrics and some styles that you like and get fitted. They are quite fast and should be able to have a serviceable wardrobe for us both in a few days time." She assured him understanding his discomfort in the tan pants and loose white shirt. She herself was wearing an outfit in her usual style in light tans and creams with a dark green vest and it brought out the warm glow of her complexion just as the white of his tunic washed him out.

He nodded his thanks and seated himself back on the edge of his bed watching as she finished with her hair. "My quarters here were in the wing reserved for female barracks although, I had private rooms. Men are not permitted, and I think it would be best if you stayed near me in case anyone gets any stupid ideas. Poe set us up with a pair of rooms near the general's quarters which are normally reserved for embassies. They share a common area, but have separate bedrooms and bathrooms. This is a military out posting so they're not fancy, but they're the best you'll get here."

"I'm just pleased they're letting me sleep indoors." Ben admitted a little deflated, "It's more than I deserve."

"Hey," Rey said chucking her brush at him which he caught with the force and stilled a foot or so from his shoulder, "We're going to fix this." She assured him with a small smile. "Anyways, I've been asked to attend a meeting with the generals and some of the officials without your company. I'll show you to our rooms and then head off." She said a small twist of apology to her mouth.

Ben shrugged standing up off the bed after her and returning her brush to her hand to follow her out of the room. Rey hesitated as they reached the exit and she turned to him, "We're the only patients being housed in this wing of the medical center right now, but once we leave here… Rey reached to her side and drew out Leia's lightsaber placing it in his hand, "She would want you to have this. Just in case."

Ben hesitated, but eventually his large fingers closed around his mother's lightsaber and he nodded his thanks following her out into the hall.

Their suit of rooms were simple, but adequate and Ben knew it was more for Rey's comfort that their accommodations were as nice as they were. Rey showed him around briefly, but she seemed nervous about leaving so after she showed him the third obvious and inconsequential aspect of the rooms, he stopped her with a hand at her elbow, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing it just feels…" she hesitated and shivered a little, so he ran his warm hand up and down her arm a couple of times.

"I'll be fine. I won't go anywhere. Just go; I'll be here when you get back." He assured her bending down some to look into her eyes.

She nodded and, grabbing her staff from the coat rack, headed out the door. She felt their bond strain and pull as she left him behind, like a muscle grown stiff stretching out for the first time. It pulled and tugged out back to him, not quite painful, but decidedly uncomfortable. She was distracted when she made it to the meeting and heard the status of the other systems after the battle. She was encouraged to hear that people all over the galaxy had risen up and that while there were pockets of resistance from the First Order, they seemed to be small factions of unorganized troops struggling with locals for control.

Over the course of the two-hour meeting the stretching sensation in their bond began to ease until she could relax slightly and focus more completely on the work before them. "We need to send someone to this incursion sight here." A commander said pointing at the holo-map, "First Order forces still have the city under hold and it needs a force to clear them out. I was thinking that Rey might be able to take a force…"

"No." Rey responded suddenly, here first such interruption in the proceedings of the meeting. "I'm sorry, I won't be available. I have obligations elsewhere."

"But surely our first priority must be ensuring that the First Order is ended and their elite brought to justice." The commander said aghast.

"Rey has decided that she and Ben Solo must take on their own mission of which she has yet to inform us the details." Poe informed the council.

"But surely…"

"She can't…"

"Kylo Ren…"

Everyone spoke at once their voices blurring over one another making Rey's chest tighten and a strong tug run through their bond. Suddenly though, the bond eased, and she felt a warm hand at her shoulder as a dark figure only she could see loomed behind her chair looking around in an attempt to discern what had agitated his companion. Rey flashed a tight-lipped smile up at him gratefully and said loudly over the cacophony of the council, "Ben Solo and I are setting out on a mission that will end the dark side for good so that nothing like this can ever happen again."

The room fell silent and she felt the strong fingers on her should squeeze lightly in silent support. "We are going to restore balance to the force once and for all by restoring the balance that resides in each force user. There will be no more light and dark; no more Jedi and Sith. We will forge a new generation of force wielders at balance with themselves."

One of the elder members of the council spoke up with shock, "What you speak of… it is fallacy. It stands against everything that General Organa fought for all these years. Neutrality is not the Jedi way."

"No, it is not the Jedi way, but it is the only way to end the dark for good. Master Skywalker new this as do I. The Jedi Order and the Way which it followed will be no more." Rey said a note of finality in her voice.

"This is blasphemy." A commander said angrily slamming his fist on the table. Rey felt Ben tense behind her and released the tension in her shoulders hoping to calm his anger some. "You will be the end of the Jedi. The darkness within that demon that you harbor has tainted you. He is evil and he is bringing down the only hope we have left of restoring the world to its proper order."

Rey looked to Poe and Finn for defense, but they were painfully silent. Instead she stood from her chair pushing it to the side and feeling the radiating heat of Ben's large form backing her in his silent invisible manner and said, "By holding to the light and rejecting the darkness within us we are creating the darkness in others. The force requires balance. What do you think happens when we create an order of purity and light? The force creates an equally dark order to balance it. The Jedi created the Sith. The light breeds the dark. The only way to abolish darkness within the force is to balance and control it within ourselves."

"Rey is right." Finn finally spoke up. "It will be easier to establish a balance in the force if force wielders learn to balance it within themselves than a constant fight between good and evil that takes over the entire universe."

"This was never the way." The elder council member insisted again.

"It is the new way and it is decided." Rey said finally turning from the room to take her leave as Ben's presence faded out behind her bringing the stretching feeling back into her chest.

He was seated on one of the sofas in the common area when she let herself in, but he rose as if uncomfortable in her presence when she entered. "Are you…" he started to ask, concern clear in his voice, but stopped himself at the hard look on her face.

Rey sighted, "Yes, I'm fine. Let's get something to eat. I'm hungry and you must be doubly so. The provisions here aren't anything special, but we'll have plenty to eat." She assured him turning back to the door, but Ben hesitated to follow.

"We're going to the mess hall?" he asked unsure.

Rey looked around and seemed to re-consider, "No, I suppose not. Here" She pressed a button on the wall and said, "C3PO, could you please bring some food for Ben and me to our new quarters?"

"Why Miss Rey, of course I can bring you and young Master Ben some food. It would be my pleasure." C3PO's voice said through the link.

Ben sat on the couch heavily again shaking his head in his hands and chuckling lightly, "I haven't heard that old bucket of bolts call me that in… a very long time."

Rey smiled to herself a little sadly, "It would almost be easier if you had never been her before wouldn't it?"

"I never have been here." Ben reminded her dryly avoiding the question.

"You know what I mean." She said raising an eyebrow at him.

"You mean if I hadn't betrayed my family and everything they stood for? Ya, probably." He said darkly burring his head in his hands once more.

Rey came and sat beside him on the arm of the couch and ran a comforting hand through his black silky hair, "We're going to fix all of it. You and I both know you haven't always made the best decisions, but they're already proud of you for what you did to help end the war, and once we finish this, they will be doubly q1`so."

Ben looked up at her eyes unsure and asked, "How can you be so sure they'll thank us for tearing down everything they fought for? Centuries of history and tradition gone because we decided it was better to try something different?"

"I think they already knew what needed to happen; they just couldn't do it themselves. Luke burnt down the tree that he thought held the Jedi tombs. He didn't know I had already taken them to learn from. He was ready for the Jedi order to end. He knew that it bred as much dark as it did light. Your mother was just ready for the wars to end. She spent her entire life fighting against the darkness. If there was a way to end it for good… I don't think anything would make her prouder of you Ben."

Ben let out a shaky sigh and pushed himself up so that his eyes were nearly level with her own. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say, but ever since their time in the Sith cave, everything felt so raw and so real it hurt and staring at her inches away from him now was no different. C3PO entering the room with their food saved him from having to make any sort of response and he was grateful for it not because of the hungry twisting feeling in his stomach, but because it meant he didn't have to sort out everything raging within him.

"Oh, young Master Ben, Miss Rey, it's so good to see you both getting along. I have brought you quite the selection of food to sate your appetites. Everything you desire is right here." He said putting two large trays down on the table beside them.

Ben wasn't so sure food would sate everything he was feeling, but he turned away from Rey none the less and focused on the food the bot had brought. "Thank you 3PO" Rey said smiling at him and taking the food from him. The little orange and white droid rolled in squeaking and beeping at her and she smiled and knelt down to its height crooning at it and checking it over with her small delicate hands. "Where's R2, BB8?"

"He says that R2D2 is helping Poe and Chewy re-celebrate the propulsion systems on the Millennium Falcon." C3PO provided over the little droid's squeaks and whirls.

"Ben, this is BB8." Rey explained smiling down at the little orange blob and Ben looked on skeptically. "We found each other on Tatooine and we've been together ever since."

Ben smiled a little unsure, but knelt down by the little droid and said, "Hello BB8." Patting him on the little metal head, Rey smiled at the pair and stood to talk to C3PO and Ben whispered, "Thank you for looking after Rey." To which the little droid buzzed and whirred quietly back bumping against his bent knee briefly before Ben stood and began to sort out their food.

BB8 buzzed and rolled around their quarters as they ate at the low dining table sharing the meal that C3PO had dropped off. It was quiet and Ben expected it to be awkward, like two enemies being forced to share a reconciliatory meal, but their connected psyche over the last year brought a level of comfort to their shared space. Their time together in their rooms was companionable if not completely comfortable before they left and ordered a refreshment to Rey's wardrobe and a new wardrobe for Ben at the tailor's.

Finn and Poe visited some time later while Ben was in his room and told Rey that they would have all the provisions they would need to stock their new long-distance transport ship in two day's time courtesy of the rebellion, and as soon as her friends left, Rey was knocking at Ben's door. Ben was shirtless, in the process of shaving when she knocked, so he finished shaving and cleaned his face, but neglected a shirt in the interest of expediency when getting the door. Rey was bubbly with excitement when he opened the door, but stepped backwards quickly when she saw his half-dressed state. "I… what? We need to go to the ship… Can you get dressed?" She said whipping her hands somewhat nervously on her pants.

"Sorry. Is something bothering you?" He asked somewhat teasingly his half smile back in place.

"No I… It's just. They've chosen a ship for us and we need to start making the upgrades. I could use some help if you could lend a hand." She said avoiding looking at him.

"I'm not very technically inclined, but I'll help if I can." He said turning his back to the door and going to grab his shirt off of the bed where he had left it.

"I'll teach you." She assured him. "I already know you can fly so at least we won't be completely out of luck if something goes wrong out there, but I may need some assistance from time to time."

"Like I said, I'll help if I can." Ben said returning to the door shoes in hand. "What kind of upgrades are we making?"

"I want to upgrade the warp-speed engine and re-wire the gun controls so that they can be accessed from the cockpit so that we can fire from there."

"We'll be blind unless they're directly in front of us." Ben reminded her as they made their way to the hanger.

Rey snorted, "Do you really need your eyes to see them Solo?" She teased.

"Nope." He said with a half-smile.

"We also need to convert one of the cargo holds to an protected lab space where we can work without worry that an explosion will damage something else in the ship."

"What will we be experimenting with?" Ben asked curiously as she led them to one of the better-looking small cargo vessels.

"Building more than experimenting I hope." She said hitting the airlock and letting them inside, "Kyber Crystals to answer your question thought. It's time these relics where left to the past where they belong." She said fingering Luke's saber. "We need to forge our own lightsabers. Ones that are true to our nature."

"I've forged a light saber before." Ben reminded her.

"Yes, and for the record, plasma vents for a cross guard is stupid. You're going to get your own hand sliced off." She told him flipping switches as they made their way through the ship.

"If I don't someone else will slice my hand off for me. My family doesn't have a great track-record with lightsabers and right hands." He said dryly.

"If you want a cross guard so badly make it out of metal like a normal person and use an ion bolt charge like the guards use in their weapons to prevent a lightsaber from cutting thought it. It will rebound lightsabers, but all you'll get is a nasty zap if you hit it with your own hand." She scolded him lightly inspecting the second smaller cargo bay they had come to. "Besides, that thing was almost as unstable as you were. If I'm being honest, I'm glad you got rid of it." She said turning to face him where he stood leaning in the doorway.

"Me too." Ben agreed looking around the space over her head. "I had a hell of a time making it. I couldn't get it to come together right. Snoke said that it was because I was still weak and conflicted." He admitted.

"I'm glad." She admitted turning back to look at him with a small smile, "This room will work." She decided and he agreed with a nod.

They spent the rest of the next two days making the necessary upgrades to the transport ship and preparing it for their journey so that by the time their clothing and supplies are ready the ship is nearly finished and Ray, BB8, and R2D2 are hard at work trying to finish the last updates.

"BB8, I need that throttle sensor online before I connect this in. R2, how are we doing on that electrical panel. Ben, where the hell is that socket wrench?" Rey yelled across the room through the wrench in her mouth doing six things at once her hair starting to frizz out of her usual up-do.

"It's in your mouth Rey." Ben yelled back about ready to pull out his hair over the frantic women under the deck plates across the room.

"The 5/8ths Ben." This is a ¾." She insisted tossing it back out of the pit of wires she was buried in.

Ben sighed swallowing the growl in his voice and dug through her previously organized toolbox for the desired wrench floating it over to hover over head to grab when she was ready for it.

"Did you finish with the insulation in the lab?" Rey asked him grabbing the wrench out of the air.

"Before lunch." He reminded her.

"We already had lunch?" She asked popping her head out of her mechanical cave looking at him confusedly.

"It's after 9pm Rey. The mess isn't even serving dinner anymore." Ben said shaking his head at how distracted she became when she was entangled with her droids in wires and mechanical work.

"I'm almost done I promise." Rey said for the third time, "BB8, how's it coming buddy?"

Ben sighed, he knew that what she was doing was important for their mission and that they needed to leave sooner rather than later, but pushing against their bond he could feel her exhaustion and the hunger she had suppressed hours ago. Shaking his head, he left her to her work with the droids and exited the ship determined to head to the kitchens and see if they would give him a little food for her even if the cooks weren't so inclined to feed him.

He had followed Rey from the hanger to the kitchens twice since they arrived and had a general idea of where he was going. Most of the people he passed at this time of the night just glared at him or avoided his eye as he passed, but he came to a fork in the halls and wasn't sure which way he needed to go to get to the kitchens. He felt out with the force to try to get an idea and felt more people towards the left, so he followed the hall in that direction. Suddenly he walked into a set of six guards blocking a steel door and stopped. This was not the kitchens.

"Hey, it's Kylo Ren come to spy on the meeting. Grab him before he can get away." One of the guards said and they began to surge towards him.

Ben's first instinct was to reach for his lightsaber, but the guard's hadn't drawn their weapons and he didn't want to make the situation any worse than it apparently already was by bringing lethal force into it, so he just began backing away hands out in front of him until the first one grabbed him, then he swung.

A few minutes later, four guards were forcing him down onto his knees in front of a room of rebel leaders headed by Finn and Poe. "We caught him trying to sneak into the meeting. He had this on him Sir." One bruised and bloodied guard said handing over Leia's lightsaber to Poe before backing up and kicking him in the calf for good measure as he passed.

"Enough. What happened?" Finn asked eyeing the guards.

"We were standing our guard post and all of the sudden Kylo Ren came walking up." The guard on his left arm explained.

"And the six of you took him down?" Poe asked looking the men over for missing limbs or saber burn marks.

"Yes sir. He started throwing punches once we grabbed him, but it wasn't anything we couldn't handle." The guard explained.

Finn walked forward and lifted Ben's chin making him wince as the General's finger put pressure on his split lip. "Sorry, I didn't see that there." Finn said loosing his grip, but keeping eye contact with Ben's one good eye as the other began to swell over. "Since you didn't hurt any of my men… any worse than they hurt you," Finn corrected at the sounds of protest from the three bruised soldiers, "I assume you weren't trying to break in here to do anything nefarious."

"Trying to get to the kitchens." Ben admitted thickly through his split lip "Think I made a wrong turn."

"Why would he come to the command center if he was trying to get to the kitchens?" A guard demanded.

"Ya it's a right two hallways back not a left. I did that all the time when we first moved in. I think that's why I ended up General after General Organa passed. I just kept showing up here all the time on accident." Poe said scratching the back of his head.

"Why were you looking for the kitchens?" Finn asked shaking his head at his companion with a chuckle.

Ben sighed, he wasn't comfortable talking about his odd symbiotic relationship with Rey even to her, much less to her friends, but eventually he answered, "She's hungry and she's too busy working on the ship to stop and get something. She keeps pushing the hunger and the exhaustion down so that she can finish working on the transport and I can feel it wearing on her. I'm no good at that kind of stuff, but I thought the least I could do was try to go beg the kitchens for a little food for her."

Finn and Poe exchanged a look that said they knew exactly the state that Rey was in right now and that they at least mildly approved of his attempt to care for her despite the failure it had turned out to be. "Whelp, nothin' for it then when she gets like that. Come on man, let's go dig up some grub." Poe said waving a lazy hand over his shoulder gesturing for Ben to follow him out the door. "You've got the floor General." He said to Finn who responded back with a prim "General" in return.

"Sorry about the guards. They're still a little jumpy. That meeting was about how we're going to keep the rebellion going now that Rey won't be with us. We lost our most valuable piece." Poe said amicably as they made their way back down the hall.

"You didn't lose her. She just has her own path to follow." Ben reminded him.

"I remember a path you once thought you had to follow to. How did that work out?" Poe countered.

Ben snorted, "The difference is she isn't a fucking idiot with a psychotic Sith Lord in her head."

Poe laughed, "You're not wrong there." There was a long silence that slowly grew uncomfortable before Poe added, "She's just the granddaughter of the evil puppet master himself and now she's filled with more of you than herself."

"It doesn't work like that." Ben argued shaking his head as they made it into the kitchen and Poe ordered two dinners for them. "She's as much Rey as she's ever been, I just gave her what she needed to come back. It doesn't change who she is or how she thinks."

"Maybe… maybe not. The point is you two started swapping life forces like saliva and now you're closer to the good side and she's getting farther and farther away." Poe observed somewhat absently.

Ben avoided blushing at the mention of swapping saliva with Rey and said, "I know how it looks, but that doesn't mean it isn't the right thing to do."

"Ah I know," Poe said waiving him off, "and once he gets over the sting of it, Finn will realize it to, but you have to realize that's how it's going to look to others."

Ben sighed, "Ya, I'm the bad guy. I get that, and I don't really care. I just wish I wasn't dragging her down with me."

"I don't think she'd have it any other way. Come on," Poe said handing him a platter of steaming food and a thermos full of juice, "Let's go dig her out of that bucket of bolts before she kills herself."

"Honey I'm home!" Poe yelled over they sound of the engine checks as they let themselves onto the transport food in hand and Ben resisted the urge to scowl knowing that the pilot was only teasing with her.

Rey popped her head up from the control panel she was working on, but as soon as her eyes lit on Ben's bruised face she gasped and jumped away rushing towards them, "Ben!" She said hands outstretched as he hurriedly put his tray aside. "What happened?" She asked her fingers delicately brushing his cheek near his swollen and bruised eye, her thumb brushing under his split lip.

"I'm fine." He assured her closing her small hand in one of his larger ones.

"What do you mean you're fine?" she asked standing up on her toes to get a better look at his swollen eye and placing a hand on his side for support. He groaned a little as her hand pressed into what he was pretty sure was a cracked rib and she leapt backwards in distress pulling away to look him over fully. "Take it off. Let me see." She insisted waving her hand in a brisk motion that brokered no argument.

Ben sighed shallowly, but acquiesced as Poe jabbed, "Nice to see you to sweetheart."

"Poe Dameron, what did you get him into?" She demanded as Ben groaned lowly as his ribs protested the removal of his shirt.

Once his torso was bare and the numerous bruises from kicks and rifle butts exposed, Poe whistled lowly, "They really did a number on you didn't they?"

"Once they had me, a few of them took a couple extra swings for penance sake." Ben admitted shaking his head at the floor and fiddling uncomfortably with his shirt.

"Where's your lightsaber?" Rey asked voice a little softer now.

"Oh, right, here." Poe said holding it out to her.

"Poe!" she said ripping it from his hand and clipping it gently back at Ben's waist before turning back to her friend with her hands on her hips, "Explain. Now."

"He helped me out of a tight spot." Ben assured her placing a hand on her shoulder to calm her. "I'm fine. Trust me, I've been worse."

Rey still looked scathing, so Poe interjected, "He took that left instead of the right on the way to the kitchens and ended up at command. The guards got a little jumpy with him, but he managed to keep his lightsaber in his pants so everyone made it away just a few bumps and bruises. Three of my guards look almost as bad as he does." Poe explained.

Rey sighed, "You haven't instructed your guards not to hit people who don't fight them?"

Ben snorted a little and instantly regretted the way it made his ribs and his face feel, "I broke the nose of the first one that touched me." Rey glared at him, "I was backing away with my hands up and my lightsaber still on my belt trying to explain I was just looking for the kitchens. If I were anyone else, they would have sent me away with directions and a pat on the back." He defended sourly.

Rey sighted and massaged the bridge of her nose. "Go lay down on the bench so I can heal you properly. You're too damn tall." She instructed tiredly.

"Rey you don't need to I'm F…" He began, but her delicate fingers covered his split lip and he felt the surge of force from her as she healed it. "Go." She whispered and he went with her following a few steps behind.

"Ok, ya, I'm gunna leave now if anyone cares." Poe said to their retreating backs, but all he heard in response was their soft murmurs back and forth, "Oh ya, definitely time for me to leave." He said to himself taking his exit.


	3. Friend or Foe (3)

A/N: I'd love to hear some of your thoughts if any of you are interested in leaving a review. Thank you to those of you who already have! Best- Wildjump

Chapter 3: Friend or Foe

Ben fidgeted tugging his cuff as he stood before the mirror in his new Jedi robes. They were of his own design and somewhat of a combination of the traditional Jedi garb and the style that Rey wore. He wore a light grey sleeveless shirt covered by a dark grey sleeveless tunic that reached just above his knees. Over that was a vest that crossed drapes of fabric from hip to shoulder in both directions snugly around his torso in a more middling grey before being belted together with a broad stretch of smooth black cloth. Combined with his grey pants and black boots, he was garbed from head to toe in something very much resembling a grey set of Jedi's robes except that the over robe had been exchanged for the vest leaving his arms bare. Over the entire ensembled he dawned a heavy hooded cloak, black on the outside and light grey on the inside. He liked the symbolism of the garment, but more than that, it would serve to prevent him from drawing attention, for while black cloaks were not particularly expensive or hard to come by, the dove grey that he wore on the inside would have been much more noticeable in a crowd.

Letting the hood relax back behind his shoulders, Ben shouldered his belongings and made his way out into the space he shared with Rey. She was already there talking quietly with C3PO, BB8, and R2D2, but she smiled and stood when she saw him. "Not all black" She teased coming to tug on his open cloak front with playful fingers.

"Not all black" he agreed with a half-cocked smile.

"It suits you." She said reaching up to straighten his hood, "Isn't this cloak a bit heavy though?"

Ben only shrugged, "I'm used to a lot more… insulation I suppose."

"You mean a lot more leather." She snickered tugging his cloak again in jest.

Ben only smiled and said, "I think I'll like the freedom of being able to shed the cloak easily if we get into battle though. I always felt restricted in those leather jerkins and padded jackets. I could never move right through the shoulders." He said rolling the muscles in question.

Rey just smiled indicating her own nearly bare arms and Ben said, "Ya, I took a page out of your book on that one. I think I'll prefer having the cloak on over it most of the time though." He said with another shrug hoisting his things again and looking around. "Are we ready then?" He asked looking over at the little huddle of bots and preying they weren't taking the chatty one along.

"Sure" She said gathering her own things and ignoring his offered hand, "We can load up, but we've got to head into command before we leave. I've got to get the long-range communicator from Finn and Poe said something about wanting to say goodbye to his best friend before we left. I don't know, I promised them we'd be by to say goodbye though."

"Ok." Ben agreed following her out of their shared suit of rooms. She carried surprisingly little for a woman who had lived at this base for several months, but she assured him it was all that she had in the way of personal belongings and that everything else they would need would already be loaded on the ship.

They stowed their clothing and few other belongings in the captain's quarters and first mate's quarters respectively, Ben insisting Rey take the larger space, and made their way back to the central command center to meet Poe and Finn. Poe made a loud show of saying goodbye to his best friend, BB8, who had apparently decided to join them on their mission with all the autonomy given little orange rolly robots in the resistance and Finn discussed the long-range transmitter with Rey. Ben was just beginning to wish that he had stayed on the ship when Poe grabbed him by the arm pulling him out of the command center into a hallway that looked like it led to more private meeting rooms.

"Look, I…" Poe began hesitantly fussing with a paper bag in his hands, "Here, just…" He shoved the bag into Ben's hands like he didn't want to be caught holding it and said, "I didn't want it showing up on the ship manifest is all. She gave everyone public access to know everything you guys are taking with you and well… just… just make sure she gets them and… just make sure she has them if she needs them… she's only nineteen for mercy's sake." Poe spluttered very unlike himself.

Ben raised an eyebrow at the other man skeptically. He was well aware of Rey's age and hardly felt he was in any position to need to be reminded of it. Uncertainly he began to open the top of the paper bag to see what was inside, but Poe's hand shot out and stopped him, "Shit man, not here." The other man said ruffling his hair nervously. "Finn would have an exogorth larva. Just put it away." He said waving his hand at the package like it would disappear.

Suspiciously Ben slipped it into a pocket in his cloak and Poe smiled at him nervously. "Good, good. Ok, well safe travels and… you know safety and all." Poe said patting Ben on the shoulder awkwardly before heading back out into the main room with Rey, Finn, and the droids.

Ben knew that Poe was one of Rey's closest friends, and he didn't think that the other man would do anything to hurt her, but his behavior was not instilling confidence in the general's intentions. With knitted brows, Ben drew the package out carefully and opened it trying to crinkle the paper as little as possible. He peered into it first finding a series of identical boxes before reaching his hand in to draw one out. He almost didn't recognize the medical implant, but he had been laid up in the medical ward when a new batch of storm troopers had been brought in and he could recall the hiss of the air cartages as each female trooper was implanted with one of these… contraceptive implants.

Ben felt his face heat and quickly crammed the box back into its bag and the bag back into its pocket before stopping to lean against a wall and slow his breath and heartrate for a few minutes.

It wasn't something he had thought about. Perhaps he should have. Poe had. In all honesty though, he hadn't thought of her needing them. The more he thought about it though he realized that wasn't completely true. He had thought about their kiss often. Wanted to reach out and press his lips to hers once again. To draw her into him even further than their dyad bond already brought her to him and he knew he would never want to let her go. Just as Poe had said, she was nineteen. That wasn't overly young for such things and despite the ten-year age gap between them, there were evenly matched in almost every regard and this was no exception. With a sigh he realized that he probably owed Poe a huge thank you later down the line, but for now he had to figure out how to put these in her hands without making it obvious how they got there. He considered keeping them until they were needed, but it was her right to have them in case she ever felt the need for them and all he could do was try to make sure she was safe if the time ever came.

Ben could feel the flush ebbing out of his face slowly, but something had roused Rey's attention on the other side of the bond and she was pushing though it to talk to him. He tried for one foolish second to block her, but she pushed back even harder and when she finally did materialize in front of him she was far deeper into their bond than they had been since she had passed him her lightsaber. "What's wrong? You were upset. You left the main hall. Where are you?" She asked reaching out to grasp his arm.

"I'm just off the hall on the west side. It was just… an errant thought. I'm fine. I'm coming back now." He assured her brushing a bit of hair off of her cheek.

"Truth, lie, lie, truth." She said gazing up at him a little icily.

Ben sighed, "It was nothing bad just surprising and I'm going to be fine in a few minutes."

"Ok." Rey said dropping her head on his chest briefly before fading away. Ben shook his head trying to clear it and made his way back out into the main command center wondering how complicated things were going to get if he was about to be stuck on a ship with a woman he couldn't even tell white-lies to without her knowing.

As he re-entered the room, BB8 zoomed up to him and started whirring and squeaking around him like an excitable child. "Yes, I see you" he said tapping the droid's head placatingly.

Rey giggled from her perch on a command module, "He says he's happy to be going on an adventure with you. He also wants to know if he can set your cape on fire if you're mean again. He thinks that will make the adventure even more fun."

Ben snorted, "Ominous little fellow aren't you?" Ben knelt down next to the droid and said, "Leave the cape. I like it. Besides, setting pants on fire is more fun anyways." Ben suggested.

BB8 beeped an affirmative as the whole room laughed and Ben rose to come stand next to Rey. She smiled up at him appreciative of his good humor with the droid and he just gave her a small half smile back. As the trio finished up their talk in the command center and made their way back to the transport, Rey eyed Ben out over BB8's head until finally she asked, "What was it that upset you earlier? I saw you disappear with Poe, but you didn't get upset until after he came back."

Ben shook his head, "I wasn't really upset. I think Poe just made me realize I was being stupid about some things that I'm too old to be being dense over."

Rey quirked an eyebrow, "Poe's usually the one being childish and dense about things. If he helped you see something you must have really had your head underwater."

Ben chuckled then sighed, "He and I may both be nearly thirty, but men like Poe have half a lifetime's experience on me in many ways. My life was always devoted to either the Jedi or the First Order. It never left much time to consider things other than surviving."

Rey nodded thoughtfully, "I get that in some ways. I didn't really start to connect to the force until about two or three years ago, but before that I was on my own for almost as long as I can remember. I was just trying to get enough food to make it to the next day, then once I did... there was always another. I suppose in some ways we have the opportunity to change that now. We have obligations yes, but isn't the point of all of this to establish a balance?"

Ben smiled down at her, "I suppose it is."

Hearing their conversation about balance, BB8 chose that moment to roll up a beam near the ceiling teetering on the edge as it became narrower and narrower whirring and wheeing the whole way until suddenly his jolly ascent became wobbly and he began to fall with a little "whuuttohh" noise. Ben and Rey reached out with the force at the same time stopping the droid in midair, then with a glance to one another lowered him softly to the ground.

"BB8, be more careful. What if we weren't here to catch you." Rey scolded gently.

Ben couldn't help but smile to himself a little at how much she seemed like the mother of a toddler talking to the droid about caution and safety in that moment, but when the memory flashed back to the scene she was mimicking, his blood ran cold and thick in his veins.

A mother crouching down to scold a child who had fallen off of the tent pole he had been climbing. A merchant in his stand shaking his finger at the child for the fruits he had shaken loose from the overhanging pole. The tromp of boots behind Kylo Ren as the storm troopers moved into the village looking for something that shouldn't exist. A flash of red and both mother and son lay dead in pools of their own blood…

"…back to me Ben. It's ok. You're here, with me. You're safe." Rey's voice was whispering near his shoulder her fingers running through his hair and down the back of his neck.

"It's not me you should be worried about." He said throat dry and voice raspy.

"I am worried about you Ben. You did some horrible things when you were Kylo Ren and they are going to haunt you probably for the rest of your life, but he's dead now Ben. We killed him, together." She reminded him hugging him to her clasping one arm behind his neck and leaving the other buried in his hair.

"I killed so many people that didn't need to die." He confessed letting his head drop into the crook of her neck.

"I know you did. That's why we have to make sure it never happens again. Can you help me do that?" She asked bushing hair back from his face and pulling away to look up at him.

Ben took a deep shuddering breath and pressed his forehead into hers, but each breath he took became smoother and steadier and she knew that he was coming down from the adrenaline high that the flashback had caused. Rey just held him in silence for several minutes as BB8 looked on worried, but gradually, his shuddering stopped, his breath returned to normal, and the grip with which he held her felt more like comfort than desperation.

"I'm sorry," He began, but she cut him off with a finger on his lips.

"It's going to take time Ben. Don't ever be sorry about needing time to heal. We're human now remember. It's just a part of being human."

"We should get going." He said pragmatically and she nodded, knowing he would feel more comfortable in the privacy of their own transport in open space.

Ben finally relaxed into the co-pilot's chair after their Rey initiated their first light speed jump. The ship was running smoothly and little BB8 was sitting happily in his place behind Rey without concern to making adjustments or repairs to the already fully functioning ship. Ben tugged at the edge of his cloak uncomfortably conscious of how warm it seemed to be in the cockpit of the transport and asked, "Isn't it a bit warm up here? Won't it cause problems with the machinery?"

Rey laughed, "Sorry about that. I did grow up on a desert planet. As to the machinery though, no it will be fine. This transport is made it withstand both extreme heat and cold. You could take off your cloak. That might help."

"Trying to get me strip already?" Ben teased and she shook her head at him, but a faint blush colored her cheeks. Nevertheless, she was right, she preferred her ship a little too warm to wear his cloak, and considering they were in the privacy of what would become their domicile for the foreseeable future he shrugged and doffed it. He rolled his shoulders letting his bare arms hang freely and folded the garment carefully storing it in a cupboard in the hall.

Rey forcibly snapped her attention back to the controls realizing she had been looking over the way his broad shoulders connected into his muscular arms as he retreated from the cockpit. She was not checking out Kylo Ren… or Ben Solo, or whomever he was. They were on an important mission and they could deal with… other things later.

When he came back in, Rey's attention was on one of the screens and he asked lightly, "So, do I get to know where we're going?"

"To a cave known to harbor Kyber crystals." Rey said studying the map once more.

"All of Ilum's crystals were mined after order 66." Ben reminded her.

"I know." Rey said with a twist of her lips, "This is in an underwater cave on Tion. It has never been seriously mined, but a few Jedi have made their way there to collect their crystals in the past." Rey explained.

"I was under the impression that most of the remaining mines were relatively small. How many sabre-grade crystals do you think it can provide?" Ben asked uncertain.

"Enough for the two of us certainly, but more as we need them. A few dozen at least, I think. I haven't seen it for myself though." Rey said with a shrug. "Here Ben have a look a this." She said pulling up a digital spec on the holo-map for a new lightsaber. The hand grip was long and heavy, clearly meant to be wielded with two hands as was his preference, and a cross-guard was built into the metal of the stabilizing ring powered by an internal electric field generator to rebuff incoming lightsabers. "Look," she said pulling up a more detailed view of the specs, "It's going to be a little heavier than what you're used to, but it will let you block incoming blows on the guard without risking losing your hand on your own saber. See how the field generator is wired to the emitter. Any time you activate the lightsaber, the cross-guard will automatically charge to rebuff attacks. I also lengthened out the handle so you could use it with two hands more comfortably that opened up a little bit more space inside, so once we have our crystals and know what we're dealing with we have extra room to make any adjustments."

Ben smiled at her over her shoulder as she flipped through the specs. It looked perfect and he had to admit her idea of charging a metal cross-guard with an electric field generator was probably safer than his plasma vents. He told her as much collecting a copy of her schematics so that he could work on the external design and then asked, "May I see yours?"

"Mine?" She asked somewhat confused, "Oh, it's nothing special. I just followed the schematics similar to the ones that Luke and Leia used. I changed up the activator here, but apart from that, it's pretty much the same. I've only ever really fought with theirs and… well yours, but no offense that's not exactly something I'm trying to replicate."

Ben shook his head, "Is the ship on auto-pilot for a while?" he asked and confusedly she confirmed. "Come on then." He said grabbing her staff and leading her to one of the large empty storage bays. Along the way he stopped by the bay that held their spare parts and grabbed to stretches of steel piping about three and a half feet long each throwing one to her taking the other in hand as they faced each other in the large open space. She glanced at their lightsabers still on their belts and her staff which he had left by the door, but he just shook his head, "I don't want to accidentally do any real damage we can't easily fix. Just spar with me for a few minutes."

With a shrug she fell into position and saw him do the same. There was an instant in which she was horribly reminded of the numerous times they had found themselves in this stance before, but this time was different. His cloths were a grey sleeveless modified version of Jedi garb, not his heavy all-black Sith attire. His eyes were calculating and sharp, but there was no anger or malice in them as he watched her. Even his body was loose and alert instead of ridged with furious intent. This was different. This was okay. She realized she could fight against him without it being life or death and that they could teach and learn from one another without stealing the information from eachother's minds to use against each other later. He was waiting patiently for her to make the first move and so she let out a long calming breath and started towards him.

In the confined space, the force jumps and flips that Rey usually used to overcome his greater height and strength were restricted and she found that her agility was of little advantage to her. He was brutal and precise blocking each of her swings with crashing blows that made her hands go numb and shook her to the bone. They had only been at it a few minutes before he had her pinned against a wall, his pipe pressed against her throat and his body holding hers to the metal of the ship.

"Not quite as fair of a fight in a confined space is it?" he asked releasing her gently and stepping back, one hand still outstretched to ensure she kept her balance.

She ignored his hand and said, "No one ever doubted you were bigger. If I just had a little more space to move around and I wasn't as worried about damaging my ship I would have had you." She argued arms crossed.

"You don't need more space," He said crossing to the door and grabbing her staff tossing it to her, "You need the right weapon. Again." He instructed holding his pipe in his hands.

Rey smiled a little more confidently now and dropped her useless piece of pipe picking up her beloved staff. This time no matter how Ben came at her, she was there to meet him. The length of the staff gave her the leverage she needed to counter his superior height, weight, and strength and after nearly twenty minutes of intense sparring, the pair were locked pipe to staff panting as Ben bore down on her and she spread her hands farther apart to get the leverage she needed to throw him off. Her exhaustion made her throw sloppy and his own made his foot slip as she dislodged him so that they both fell to the hard deck floor side by side.

Panting they stared at one another, neither inclined to rise and continue their battle. With a last surge of energy, and determined to win after the previous defeat, Rey used her staff to pull herself to her feet and positioned it over his chest where he lay. A small smile bloomed on her lips until one of his legs wound between hers causing her to flop bodily on top of him her staff falling uselessly to the far side of them. Ben let out a little "oof" as she fell on top of him, and craned his neck of from the ground to look at the disgruntled look on her face chuckling lightly to himself.

Rey could feel his laugh reverberating through his chest where she lay on it and smacked him lightly only causing the ripples under her to grow. "You're a lot better with a staff than you are with a one-handed weapon?" he pointed out. "Don't build yourself a weapon that doesn't suit you just because it's what the people before you did. Build yourself something that suits your nature and your fighting style both just like you did for me."

Rey propped herself up on his chest looking down at him and said, "You couldn't have just told me to build a staff lightsaber? It would have been a lot less exhausting." Before dropping dramatically back onto him.

Ben laughed and smoothed her hair gently "Would you have listened?"

"Maybe." She said stubbornly.

"Either way, this was more fun and we should get in the practice of sparing to keep up our skills now that the war is over anyways." Ben reminded her. Rey just grumbled sourly and rolled off of him.

Rey was still a little stiff from their sparing match when she and BB8 retired to her quarters that night. She took a longer shower than she would normally allow herself especially on a vessel with finite water supplies, but she knew that the cargo ship would run out of fuel long before she and her companion could possibly deplete their ample water reserves.

Despite her protests, a part of her had enjoyed sparing with Ben, and she was aware that he was right, both in the style of weapon she should be designing and, in their need to continue sparing to keep up their skills.

She was also aware that she had enjoyed other aspects of their evening as well. She would fight him ten times a day if each sparing match ended in her laying curled atop him with him stroking his strong fingers delicately though her hair. She felt like a lovesick fool thinking about the way being near him made her feel, but she couldn't deny it, and moreover, she wasn't sure she wanted to. She knew he was older than she, but it wasn't uncommon for significant age gaps to occur between couples if one or both were force sensitive. The force seemed to have its own way of drawing people together that gave little precedence to chronological age.

Leaning back against the water-warmed wall of the shower Rey thought back to their kiss, to feeling him surrounding her as he held her, but that brought back the memory of him slipping away, his remining life force draining out of him and she shivered despite the water's warmth. She huddled closer to their bond soaking in the feel of him, alive, on the other side while ensuring that she kept enough distance to prevent him from seeing her. He was alive and well, preparing for bed in his own quarters and that knowledge let her mind wander back to their kiss wondering how he would respond if she kissed him again.

Ben was indeed preparing for bed in his own chambers when warmth coated his skin dripping down from above less like sunlight and more like… hot rain? His head remained dry however, so he assumed that Rey must be the cause of this odd sensation and focused in on the bond between them to see if he could diagnose the cause of the odd sensation. He could feel that she was thinking about him. A thread of fear, not of him, but for him laced the bond between them and he had a sudden flash of memory looking through her eyes as his smiling face fell away from her, dead.

He rose from his bed, grabbing his cloak from its stand to cover his partial nudity, determined to go to her, but as he neared his door, he heard the shower running in her suit of rooms. She was in the shower… and thinking about him. Ben sat back down on his bed fists balling at his knees his mind focused on monitoring the bond for distress, but as the odd warming sensation continued, he could feel her fear calm turning to a buzzing nervous excitement that seemed to surround the moments directly preempting the memory he had seen from the Sith caves.

Shaking himself and withdrawing as far away from the bond as he could to preserve what little privacy she had left, he busied himself with his evening preparations trying to avoid thinking about Rey in the shower remembering their kiss.

BB8 was fiddling around in one of Rey's bags when she exited the bathroom and she came over to him clad in her loose top and sleep pants. "What have you got there?" She asked noticing a paper bag with her personal belongings that she didn't recall packing.

BB8 beeped that it was medicine and she looked at him skeptically grabbing the bag and dumping the contents onto her bed. Out fell six identical boxes each containing a one-month contraceptive implant and a longer oblong box that contained the application devise. "BB8, where did these come from?" Rey asked unable to look away from the simple packages.

BB8 whistled that they were hers to which Rey asked, "Did Ben put these here?" but the little droid did not know how they came to be in her things. Only that they were there when he opened her bag looking for something to play with.

Grabbing the boxes and the bag Rey stormed down the hall to bang on Ben's door. He answered wearing nothing but his sleep pants with his cloak quickly thrown over his shoulders, but at the look on her face he stood back to let her inside. "Would you care to explain this?" she asked dumping her cargo on the table by his bed.

Ben looked over what she and brought and sighed, "Not really if I'm being honest."

"Too bad." She said eyes blazing, "Did you do this?"

"No." he said hoping it was close enough to the truth.

"You're lying to me Ben Solo." She said her ire beginning to bubble over.

Ben sighed and rubbed his face, "I brought them onto the ship and asked BB8 to place them with your belongings where you would find them, but I was not the one who sought to acquire them for your usage." He clarified.

"And what exactly did you think you would gain by giving these to me?" She asked heatedly.

"Nothing," He assured her, "One of your friends felt you should have access if you ever wanted them, but didn't want them on the public ship's manifest. So, they asked me to make sure that you got them. They're yours to do with as you wish. Throw them out the airlock if it makes you feel better. All I did was honor your friend's wishes by making sure you got them."

Rey sat heavily on the side of his bed still looking at the packages now sitting on his nightstand. "Rey look," he started, but she cut him off. "No, I'm sorry. It just… took me off guard I guess." She said shaking her head her cheeks coloring.

Ben laughed and said, "Believe me, I know the feeling. Why did you make the ship's manifest public by the way? I've been meaning to ask."

"There was so much talk about you're influence on me and what this mission was really all about. I just wanted it to be as honest and transparent as possible. We're trying to do a good thing and the sooner people come to see that the better." She explained. "Poe was right though. Adding contraceptives to the list of things the last light side Jedi and the last Sith force user need on their journey across the stars would have sent the wrong message to anyone trying to read it sideways."

"Or front-ways" Ben murmured ruefully under his breath, but Rey didn't hear him so he said, "How did you know it was Poe not Finn?"

Rey sighed and flopped back on his bed looking up at the ceiling and Ben came to sit on the edge of his bed beside her looking down at her, "Finn… thinks he's in love with me. He's had a bit of a hard time accepting that I'm connected body, mind, and soul to someone else. He would have been trying to find a way to keep us apart not…" She glanced at the boxes on the nightstand and blushed. "besides, this just has Poe written all over it. Finn would have given it to me himself. Trust Poe to ask you to sneak them on the ship."

Ben rose gathering the boxes and putting them back into the bag, "Well here, I was too chicken to do this before, also I wasn't sure whether you would slap me with your hand or a lightsaber, so I gave it to a droid and told him to tell you he didn't know where they came from. These are for you to do with as you see fit, whatever that may be. I'm sorry I deceived you and asked BB8 to do the same. It wasn't with any malicious intent I'm just… not any good at this shit to be honest." Ben said handing her the bag with a shake of his head.

Rey rose accepting the bag and its contents and stood on her toes to hug him. "Thank you" she whispered near his ear kissing him on the side of the jaw as he hugged her back before pulling away and turning her back to him. On her way out the doorway she turned back and said, "And Ben, if you ever make BB8 lie to me again I will slap you… with a lightsaber." She promised.

"Understood." He said with a smile and a nod the spot her lips had touched on his face still tingling lightly.


	4. The Crystal Cave (4)

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has left a review. I did want to just mention, there have been some comments about neutral jedi not being an option and that the force can't work in neutrality, etc. Maybe that's true, but this is a story (completely fictional, non-canon, and fake) about Ben (who is alive (also non-canon)) and Rey trying to bring balance to the force after experiencing how personally devastating being on opposite sides of dark and light can be. In my (completely non-canon) mind, one way I see them facing this challenge is to try to find balance in the force within themselves and create a class of neutral force wielders. Maybe this doesn't work in the Star Wars Universe, maybe it doesn't even work for them here in this (completely non-canon and fake) universe, but that's the story that is being told here, so if you don't want to read about neutral force wielders, then this may not be the (completely non-canon, fake) story for you. For everyone else who is enjoying this, thank you so much. Please keep reading and enjoying a story about two people who lived hard lives trying to make a happy life together, because that's what this story is all about. Happy holidays and happy new year to you all.

Best- Wildjump

Chapter 4: The Crystal Cave

As they approached their destination, Ben entered the main cabin of the ship BB8 whirring at his heels. The little droid had been following him around either playing small pranks on him, or hovering in his shadow begging for attention all day long. It seemed as if he wasn't quite sure what to do when passenger on a ship that was neither breaking down, nor being shot at. Ben for his part, had been adding his knowledge of the force to the Jedi archives. It had been agreed upon that any new force user to join their crusade should add their knowledge to a centralized database for all to access. In their new depiction of the force, no knowledge would be good or evil, and it was his and Rey's responsibility, at least initially, to teach others how to utilize each aspect of the force constructively.

Rey was seated on one of the long, cushioned benches a digital tablet in one hand and a virtual writing utensil in the other. "How's the new lightsaber design coming?" he asked sitting down beside her to peer over her shoulder.

Rey quirked her mouth to the side in a dissatisfied look and said, "Harder than I expected. My staff now is about 5ft 10in tall. I use a little over three feet of that length for grip while I'm fighting," She said leaning closer and showing him pictures of her staff with chalk handprints and measurements calculated to 3ft 2in from edge to edge of the chalk smears. "If you account for the fact that I have to leave at least three more inches at each end for the tuning flange and the power adjuster, that leaves me with only thirteen inches of saber blade on either end and even that's a stretch. I'm only 5'6, that's already accounting for me lifting the staff a little if I use it vertically."

Ben looked at the schematics over her shoulder furrowing his brow and flipping through her designs. "Look here though," Ben said scooting closer and taking her tablet to flip back to the picture of her chalk covered staff. Rey had to lean in to see what he was pointing at as he said, "See how the chalk is concentrated in the middle and at the two ends? There are blank spaces here and here." He said indicating two grey slashes between the chalky white valleys, "You aren't really grabbing onto it here. Take the spinning disk design that you had for your activator on your old lightsaber design and add a locking mechanism so that it can't be spun accidentally, but it keeps a low profile. Put the power adjuster here in this blank spot, and the length adjuster in the other with the locking dial design, then you can eliminate most of the space you were taking up at the ends and since they are centralized you can use one to control both blades." Rey looked over what he was suggesting and smiled nodding along.

"Then all you have to do is back down on the profile of the tuning flange to an inch on each end, that will leave you with 15 inches of blade on each side. It's not going to cut through an entire tank, but it's better. Were you able to get the electric field generator to work on the grip while shielding the core?" he asked looking over the rest of her schematics.

With a proud smile she said, "I may be needing to borrow those old gloves of yours."

Ben snorted holding up one of her fey-like hands, "I don't think they'll fit."

She laughed and said, "To answer your question though yes. If I create an inverse magnetic current between the core and the field generator on the outer casing, it will prevent the magnetic current from disrupting the crystals inside the saber and allow me to charge the center of my staff to deflect oncoming lightsaber attacks. I just won't be able to charge it up without gloves on or I'll give myself some nasty electrical burns trying to hold onto the thing after a while. It's going to take a much larger secondary power source, but luckily there's lots of extra room in the central grip for it." She explained showing him the schematics.

"I'm sure there's somewhere we can have a nice thick set of gloves commissioned." He assured her looking the specs over.

"Ben," She said worriedly, "What about tanks? I wouldn't have been able to cut through the wing of your TIE fighter with this short of a blade." She reminded him.

"Why is every example you kicking my ass? That hurt you know." he said grumpily, but he was already pouring over the specs again looking for alternatives.

Rey smiled up at him a little and shrugged, "Sorry, basically my entire force-aware life has been centered around fighting you. It's not my fault I always won."

"Maybe I secretly wanted you to win because of my conflicted nature with the light and let you win all those times." He jibed pinching her ribs lightly and getting a start out of her.

"As if," she protested shoving him a little in return, but only managing to set herself off balance. Ben reached an arm around her steadying her and keeping her from falling off the bench as she said, "I won fair and square."

Ben chuckled pulling her into a one arm hug, "I know, I was only teasing. Even in the end you were always stronger than Kylo Ren, you did the one thing he could never do, land the death blow."

Rey's countenance went cold and she pressed a hand to his side where the sabre scar still lay, "Ben, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I was just so angry and desperate and you and the First Order were hurting the people I cared about and…"

"Hush," He said pressing his lips to the side of her hair his nose taking in the scent of her shampoo as he held her against his side, "I know and it's ok. You meant every bit of it though, in the moment."

Rey sighed, "I thought Leia was giving me the chance to kill you. Really she was giving me the chance to save you." Rey said sadly her head coming to fall in the crook of his shoulder and he hugged her to him.

The memory of Rey holding his oversized lightsaber between both hands out in front of her gave him an idea, "Here, I have an idea." He said softly wrapping his arm around her waist to hold the tablet out in front of them in both hands keeping her warmth pressed into his side. She leaned into him looking over what he was doing on the tablet. "Build a power diverter into the blade length modulator here," he said indicating his previous addition, "Then you could divert the power from the blade on one side to the other making it twice as long. It becomes more of a pole arm at that point, but you would have a 2ft 6in blade on one side and just the staff portion on the other. That should be long enough for most things don't you think?"

Rey took the schematic in hand, propping it up on his knee so she could see it better, and studied it for a long moment. "It would take some practice to get used to, but it might work." She agreed nodding and fidgeting with a few design details.

Ben looked down at her working still within the curve of his arm, her shoulder pressed into his chest, and a warm smile began to build across his face. He couldn't help but love the look of concentration that crossed her face when she was working on something; the little crease between her eyebrows, her lips moving as she mouthed silent words to herself. This was Rey in her element, and she was perfect.

She looked up at him suddenly as if she had heard his thought and asked, "What?"

"Nothing." He said still smiling and used the fingers not currently tucked around her waist to brush some stray hair off her cheek. She smiled at him and shook her head, the dancing light in her eyes tilling him she thought he was silly. His smile grew if possible, brighter, and he nodded in agreement, but she had already turned back to her schematics and he was more than happy to simply sit with her for as long as she allowed him to be this close.

Rey started when they fell out of light-speed about fifteen minutes later and whirred to look at a time piece. "I didn't realize it had been so long already." She admitted standing and making her way back to the cockpit followed by Ben and BB8.

The blue planet lay before them and Ben took the co-pilot's seat as Rey began directing them down to the surface. There was little atmosphere on Tion and few places to land the ship so BB8 was instructed to keep the transport hovering a few feet above the water while they dove in. They had both studied the maps, and the cave was only about sixty feet deep near their current location, but hidden by a rocky outcropping.

Stripping down to their pants and undershirts, Ben and Rey both grabbed their breathing apparatuses and small waterproof bags containing some tools and their lightsabers. "Are you ready?" Rey asked looking out the bay door to the water beneath them. "It should be about twenty feet that way behind those three rocks we saw in the drawing." She said indicating the west.

Ben nodded and said, "I'll go first", but before he could gather himself, she smiled at him, placed her breather over her mouth, and jumped. "Damn it." He cursed shoving the breather mask over his face and following her out of the airlock hearing BB8's beeped "Bye Bye" behind him as he fell.

The water was cold against his skin, but after a moment's disorientation as the bubbles cleared, he saw Rey clearly through the crystalline substance. He nodded at her and she began swimming towards the west. They swam for what seemed like much more than twenty feet before they came to a series of rocks that might have been the three depicted in the picture. They passed numerous fish and even some large eels and air breathers, but none had paid them any mind apart from scattering as they approached or swimming by languidly unconcerned with their presence.

Rey swam between two of the rocks from the sketch squeezing her way between and Ben frowned. It was going to be very tight for him, but he pushed ahead anyways unwilling to let her go beyond his sight. He was able to squeeze his head and shoulders through, but when it reached the broadest point of the barrel of his chest, the rocks caught on either side of him and he stilled. Reaching his hands out to try to push himself through, he remained stuck, growing more and more desperate as he lost sight of Rey's faint outline in the darker depths of the water within the cave. Looking around he didn't see anything he could get a firmer grip on to help pull himself through the opening. Instead he focused on the rock pressed against his chest, which was in the middle of the formation of three and had been marked with an odd chalk outline in the drawing and began to use the force to push it away from him. It was a large rock, but he had moved far heavier and larger items, so he figured either it was rooted deep within the ocean floor covered by sand, or it was resisting him in some way.

Rey was far beyond his field of vision now and nothing moved around him save the bubbles from his own breath escaping upwards towards the surface. He closed his eyes and felt the rock beneath him, and it felt him back. Then, suddenly, it moved allowing him entrance and he swam quickly in the direction Rey had gone pushing the thought of the conscious rock from his mind and focusing it on her on consciousness so that he could find her in this dark liquid grave.

His head broke into the air and he flung his wet hair back out of his eyes hurriedly to see Rey sitting on the cave floor by the water's edge, her legs tucked up in front over her, looking out over her knees at him. "Get lost?" she asked.

"The rock wouldn't let me in until I touched it's mind" He explained breather in one hand as he pulled himself to the water's edge with long powerful strokes.

"The what?" she asked looking confused, scooting back from the edge so he could heave himself out without soaking her.

"Never mind. Don't worry about it." He said with a grunt sitting on the edge beside her.

"You ready then or did the big mean rock tire you out?" She teased lifting a sopping lock of his hair and letting it fall back onto his face with a wet smack.

Ben just rolled his eyes and brushed his wet hair out of his face standing and offering her a hand up. To his surprise, she took it and when he didn't let her hand go, only loosened his grip so that her fingers were loosely hooked in his own, she used their point of contact to pull him behind her as they started off down the narrow passage.

They wound through a series of narrow passages before finally coming out into a huge cavern glittering with streaks and veins of various types of crystals including the clear un-charged kyber crystals. Between them and the majority of the chamber however, was a huge crevasse that seemed to plummet for eons before disappearing into pitch black water.

"We'll need a running start." Rey said looking over the edge. Ben had to resist grabbing onto the back of her shirt to keep her from falling reminding himself that she wasn't a small child and that she was strong enough with the force to look over a cliff without falling in… probably.

"Are you sure we can make it?" He asked somewhat unsure.

"I can." She said challengingly and backed up several paces before taking a running start and leaping the gap her legs still running in midair. He breathed again when she tumbled into a roll on the far side of the crevasse mere inches from the edge and turned back to look at him. With a deep breath he took several paces back and broke out into a dead sprint leaping out over the riven. He saw the ark, used the force to propel himself far farther than any normal human would be able to leap, and then he saw the cliff's edge passing through his field of vision, still too far away to grasp.

Rey gasped reaching out with the force and drawing him towards her, but she needn't have. The tips of his fingers caught on the edge of the cliff wall and with a great heave and a grunt he swung his other arm up to meet it and heaved himself over the cliff edge. He let himself lay, chest heaving a couple of feet from the edge, his heart beating out of his chest and his veins burning with adrenaline. Rey was kneeling over him within moments, her hand coming to cup his cheek as she looked down at him, she said something that he didn't quite catch, but between his panting breaths he muttered darkly, "Why is it always a cliff? I'm going to outlaw cliffs."

Rey laughed letting her head drop to rest on his chest, her own body trembling lightly as the adrenaline left her system. Ben ran a hand softly over her hair staring up at the crystalline ceiling and said, "I'm alright. Come on, let's grab some of these and get out of here." Rey nodded and they stood looking around at the cave.

Even in the dim light emanating from some luminescent lifeforms growing on the cave walls, Ben could make out several crystals large enough for a lightsaber. "Ben," Rey said tugging on his arm, her attention fixated elsewhere, "Ben, that one." She said pointing to a spot on one of the walls about halfway up that he couldn't make out clearly from where they stood.

"Lead the way." He said quietly observing the starstruck wonder in her eyes. He followed her as she led them to the south facing wall and they began to climb the rocky crags up to the outcropping that held her attention. When they grew close enough, he could see it and, through his bond with her, feel it calling her. It was a little over an inch long and a little less than half an inch wide standing at the center of a cluster of much smaller crystals in a vein of kyberite.

Ben stood back and watched as she reached forward slowly, hesitating an inch away, then took the crystal between her thumb and forefinger. He waited with bated breath to see what color it would turn, but it maintained its colorless crystalline visage despite the long seconds they stood staring at it.

"I don't understand," Rey breathed, "I can feel it calling to me and it's warm to the touch, but I can't connect with it. It's like something is wrong or… missing." She said frustration and worry evident in her town.

Ben strode forward slowly to stand by her and said, "I can feel it calling for you through the bond. I don't know why it won't activate to your touch." He said leaning in to inspect the crystal and her fingers still around it, careful to touch nothing around him.

"What if something's wrong? What if I'm not meant to have one?" She asked looking up at him something like fear flashing through the eyes. She fears being unworthy he realized, and it was a fear that he could empathize with all too well.

Ben reached out wrapping his hand around the hand that still clasped the crystal intending to pull it away, but as soon as his hand joined with hers, there was a pulse of energy and the crystal activated. Rey took a step back in surprise colliding solidly with his chest and he wrapped his free hand around her waist to steady her.

"A dyad in the force. Two that are one." Ben mused. "Take it. It's yours." He told her looking down at her with a small smile. "It just wanted to see your other half before it decided to join with you." He surmised.

Carefully, Rey snapped the crystal off laying it out in her palm and holding it up for him to see and the pair smiled down at it for a moment before she carefully tucked it away in the protective case she had brought.

"One down two to go." He reminded her and she nodded. "I think I know where mine is, but we should look for your other one first." He suggested and she agreed leading them up to a spot about sixty feet away and higher on the cave wall. They repeated their actions from the previous crystal, and again it activated under their combined touch.

"Where are we headed?" She asked both of her crystals stored carefully away along with a few smaller focusing crystals collected from nearby outcroppings.

Ben looked up and pointed. Above them, near the center of the cave in a space devoid of little else to climb or hold on to was a crystal two and a half inches long and almost an inch in diameter. Rey sighed and asked, "Really?" Ben just gave her his crooked half grin and they began scouting out a path to reach it.

They had to scale down from the southern wall, realizing that the eastern one would get them closer, then they were forced to hang suspended from shelf like slabs of smooth slate rock for nearly twenty feet hoping that each one they grabbed didn't fall out under the weight of their passage. The last several feet however, they were forced to crab walk, their backs pressed into one giant stalactite and feet pressed into another using the force as much as their muscles to keep them suspended above the vast cave floor. Once they were both as close as they could come Ben said, "On three, then once it changes, I'll go left and you go right. We can use those pillar-like structures to bound off of and break our fall some."

Rey nodded and Ben counted to three. He thrust his hand out grasping onto the crystal Rey's hand soon falling to cover his own as his muscles protested the awkward angles. The seconds beat on slowly and painfully as five, then eight, then twelve seconds passed before Ben finally felt the rush of energy as it activated in his hand. He snapped the crystal off and pushed off away from Rey to his left pushing his feet hard into a natural stone pillar and arching into a backflip to slam his feet into another structure which cracked under the force of his blow. Using a combination of the force, friction, and jumps to slow his decent, Ben still hit the ground harder than was comfortable. Rey, always somewhat nimbler with such maneuvers seemed to fair somewhat better, but she was dusty and grumbling when her head popped up again.

They packed Ben's crystal beside Rey's and made their way back to the crevasse, "Don't die this time ok?" She said and he laughed assuring her that he would do his best. They both made it across this time and soon they were standing at the water's edge once more. "Ready?" she asked pulling out her breather and he nodded doing the same.

They swam to the entrance of the rocks, but as they drew near, there was a grinding noise and the sliver of light that poured out between them closed off leaving them in nearly pitch blackness. Rey, reaching the stone first, pushed and shoved against it, but Ben caught her arm stilling her movements. Projecting his thoughts into her mind through the bond he said, "It's alive. It's force sensitive. I touched its mind earlier and it reached back. Reach out to it with me. Ask it to open."

Rey nodded and they each placed a palm against the rock reaching out with their minds. Ben winced as a sharp stab of pain lanced through his mind from the stone. "Please" he thought, "We only wish to pass back to our ship and we will leave." He told it.

Suddenly his mind was filled with images of people, miners by the looks of them, removing crystals. Then the rock closed and the miners all died inside, their bones sinking as their flesh rotted away. Ben wanted to be sick at the mental imagery, but he persisted trying to show the stone why they needed the crystals and the few that they had taken, but the rock-creature did not care.

"It's protecting the crystals." Rey said into his mind. "It won't let us pass as long as we have them."

"I tried lifting it earlier. I couldn't do it on my own. Maybe we could lift it together." He suggested and Rey nodded back to him.

Together they focused on the rock-creature in front of them, but as hard as they both tried, it never budged. Ben was starting to get dizzy from the pounding in his head when he noticed Rey was sinking to the ocean floor. He swam down quickly fearing that she had passed out from the mental onslaught of the rock at the entrance, but she had the case holding the activated crystals open on the ocean floor. They were yet un-colored as neither of them had taken the time to truly join the crystals with their unique force signatures, but when the crystals chose each of them and activated at their touch, they created a sort of pact.

Rey handed him his crystal taking her own in each hand saying in his mind, "The rock-creature does not want us stealing the crystals. If it knows that the crystals are coming with us willingly, maybe it will release us."

Ben shrugged, it was worth a shot. He mirrored Rey as she held her crystal in her palm against the rock-creature and shared in her mind the memory of the crystal activating to their touch. The mental onslaught lessened as the creature watched the memory and felt each of the crystals before finally, with a great groan, it shifted allowing them exit.

Ben and Rey swam through quickly crystals still clutched in their hands. They made a steady bee-line for the surface, unsure exactly where the ship would be hovering. They could see if forty odd feet away and began swimming towards it hoping that BB8 could get it close enough to the water that the cargo bay ramp would be in reach. They had to stop for a moment and tread water to put the crystals back in their protective case, but soon Ben was heaving himself up onto the ramp and helping Rey up after him.

After quickly storing the crystals where they would not be disturbed and telling BB8 to get the ship up into orbit, they both departed to their separate rooms for warm showers and dry cloths.

"We need to fuel up at the nearest port station then I think we should head out into open space." Rey said looking over the maps. "It could take days of meditating over the crystals to join them with our signatures and then we have to make them into our lightsabers. I already made sure that we have everything we need for the sabers, we just need to get somewhere out of the way where we won't be disturbed."

Ben crossed to her still ruffling his hair dry with a small towel and pointed to a spot on the map, "That should do. The First Order had dead zones for officers in case we ever got in trouble and needed somewhere to hide out for a while. There's nothing there and no reason for trade routes to go through them. Mine was here."

"Are you sure it's safe to use a First Order hideout?" Rey asked skeptically.

"It's not a hideout. Just a chunk of open space the Order tracked for a while and determined never got any traffic, so they told me it was safe to escape there if I ever had to make an emergency jump or lay low for a while. It's just coordinates on the map really." He assured her.

"We'll need fuel first. That was a long jump we did from the rebel base to get out here." She said nodding.

"There's a filling station here." He said indicating a large moon on a nearby planet, "It's overpriced, but it's a black-market operation. We won't even have to leave the ship. We just place the credits in the fueling bay and they give us a much fuel as that will buy. No registration, no ledger of sale, no port manifest; just pull up, open your bay, they fuel you up and you're on your way." He said with a nod.

"Probably pretty convenient when you wear a mask and a black cape every day and want people to fuel you up without raising a stink." She said with a nod.

Ben snorted, "Ya like the TIE fighter wouldn't have given it away which side I was on. No, it didn't much matter before, but we're pretty recognizable now and it's best if people don't know we have any interest in this system. We don't really have enough fuel to make it to another system so avoiding being seen is probably for the best. That cave had a lot of precautions against miners and other interlopers, but I'd rather our presence not alert people to anything interesting on Tion at all." He reasoned.

Rey inspected him out of the corner of her eye for a minute before saying, "That's pretty smart."

"I am capable" He reminded her.

"I know, I just…"

"Didn't think I would care?" he asked looking down at her only a little offended by her lack of trust. "We're going to have need of this place again. Best not to tip our hand too soon." He said with a shrug.

While he set the course for the fueling station, Rey and BB8 set heated up a simple dinner in the common area and settled in for the trip to Ben's little segment of open space.


	5. 3 Blades, 2 Bodies, 1 Spirit (5)

Chapter 5: 3 Blades, 2 Bodies, 1 Spirit

Their fill-up went smoothly as Ben predicted and it was only a short jump to his little clearing in open space. They jumped outside of his coordinates and flew into range manually, preparing for attack, but when none came, they stilled the ship until it was virtually stagnant in space and shut a majority of the ship down.

"I don't know how long we will be in here," Rey explained to BB8 kneeling on the floor outside of her room, which had been prepared for a several-day meditation. "I need you to keep an eye on the scanners and jump us out of here into rebel space if anything happens. We may not be able to come out to help you so it's going to be up to you to keep us safe ok?" She asked and he buzzed and whirred an affirmative butting up against her arm affectionately. Ben watched the exchange silently from the doorway looking down on the pair, but when the little droid rolled over and butted up against him as well, he bent and placed a hand atop its head patting it gently.

"Are you ready?" Rey asked seeming a little unsure. If she thought she was nervous about binding her kyber crystals to her force signature, it had nothing on the way he was feeling. He had built a lightsaber before. A pure, sleek blue replica of the one that his master, Luke, carried at his hip each day. They kyber crystal had been recycled from an old saber, not chosen of his own, but his atrocities at the temple, all the hate and rage and fear and betrayal he felt, had cracked the stone within just as it had cracked him. He had been forced to add vents to expel the excess heat escaping the crystal and had decided that a cross-guard would suit his needs well. In many ways, it felt like Kylo Ren had been born from a kyber crystal. That was completely false of course, it was he who had turned to the dark side and broken the crystal within his saber, but part of him still expected his new crystal, tucked safely in the protective cases, would turn as red and angry as the last baring his soul as the un-redeemable loss that he was.

"Not even a little bit." He said reaching out and helping her up off the floor, "Let's get started."

They had agreed that it was best to meditate in the same room since the crystals had responded to them only when they were nearby, but they separated on opposite sides of the room each taking their respective crystals in hand and focusing to the exclusion of the other.

Ben found his attention slipping however; not in the way that an itch or an interesting thought draws one away, but the farther he slipped into meditation, the farther he seemed to slip into her. With a shake he cleared his head once more, but he could feel the cold metal of the floor under his fingertips despite the fact that his hands rested palm up loosely atop his knees as he preferred when meditating. Cracking open an eye he could see her with her hands pressed into the ground, crystals resting on each of her knees and realized that she was slipping into his mind as much as he was slipping into hers.

"Rey," He said and she frowned at him peeved at the interruption, "You're slipping into my mind." He informed her.

"And you're slipping into mine." She countered, that little dimple between her brows puckering as she furrowed them at him.

"I don't mean to be. It's just the deeper I fall into meditation the more we seem to merge." He admitted.

She sighed and rubbed her eyes, "I know, but… I don't know, it feels…"

"Right?" He asked studying her reaction, but she only nodded still looking frustrated and confused.

"Rey, there hasn't been a dyad in the force in generations. We have no idea how this is supposed to work for us. Maybe we are supposed to do this together." He suggested.

"It's worth a try," she admitted, "It certainly wasn't working the other way."

He nodded and came to join her sitting directly in front of her and placing his hands palm up before her. She placed her crystals in his left hand and then took his, placing it in his right. Her small palms came to cover the crystals, her fingertips brushing the heels of his hands lightly as their breaths evened out and they both sank deeper into their meditation.

They were truly in each other's minds now and falling quickly. Ben could sense the things she was sensing and soon memories started flashing before him both foreign and familiar as they danced and intertwined with one another. It was as if their minds were at war, fighting for dominance, gasping to prevent suffocation by the other consciousness invading their spaces.

"Relax Rey," he thought to her, "Let me in and I will let you in. There doesn't have to be a winner and a looser. We can coexist like this together. We do it all the time, this is just our consciousnesses fighting against being merged."

He felt her relax before he heard her reply, "We're already one." It was slow at first as their minds began to come together, like gears slowly lining up for the first time. It felt like days, in reality it was several hours, but eventually, the gentle ebb and flow of their consciousness cease, the give and take ended, and the waters settled enough for them to fully mix together. In that instant he felt a rush of Rey sweep over him and was glad that he had learned long ago to disconnect his mind from his body during meditation, because the sensation was one of pure bliss. He felt as much as he heard her breathy moan and had to choke back his own vocalization as the purest sensation of satisfaction and pleasure he had ever felt overwhelmed him.

It lasted only a few minutes, but as the relief of finally being whole for the first time in their lives began to ebb, they recalled why they had joined thus, and their mind turned to the crystals in their hands. Pulling on short strings of their joint consciousness, they teased them out of the greater mass and led them carefully to each of the crystals. Each was different, unique, both alive and sentient, but inanimate and inorganic at the same time. They fed themselves into the crystals, reflecting on who they each had been as individuals, the decisions they had made, and who they would be moving forward as this singular entity sharing two bodies, but one spirit and one way with the force. Slowly, the crystals learned them, reacted to them, became one with their force signature and developed into fully realized kyber crystals.

When the crystals felt almost as if an extension of themselves, and could take no more of them, Ben and Rey pulled away from them not breaking their bond to one another. Rey felt Ben's fear that he would open his eyes to find a glaring red crystal in his right hand, and Ben felt her confidence that he would not. She felt the irrationality of his fear, knew his knowledge of the ways in which kyber crystals were made to "bleed" red, not made in the way that they had just done, but still she did not think less of him or think him silly. She respected his fears, understood what founded them despite their lack of logic, and stood in the shadow that he was too weak to fill lighting it from within and giving him the strength that he needed to move forward.

When their minds were finally their own, Ben opened his eyes closing his hands firmly around the crystals and placing them to their sides without looking at them. He had eyes only for the other half of himself. Her hazel eyes were pouring into his and he reached a hand out to place it gently against her cheek, but his own insecurities stopped him. Everything he had seen within her had only served to convince him of how perfect she was and how flawed and imperfect he was. He wanted nothing more in the world than the woman in front of him, but he deserved nothing less. Still, the foray into their joint mindscape had taught him many things. He had seen himself through her eyes. Seen her trust and faith in him, her compassion and even desire for him and it gave him the assurance he needed to do what he would have been unable to do before.

Ben reached out taking her face in one of his large hands before leaning in, hesitating only an inch away from her lips, giving her the chance to draw away, before he kissed her soundly and with a resolute purpose he had not previously possessed. She was kissing him back instantly, leaning into him, one of her hands coming to wrap behind his neck as he gathered her closer with his other arm.

He had been barley hanging on to life the last time he kissed her, but this time he was fully in control of his senses and every move of his lips, every pause to look down at her and study her face, had intent behind it. He had spent his whole life serving one great purpose or another, but there was only one true destiny that mattered to him anymore and now that he was on the path to realizing it, he had no intention of letting it go and it seemed, neither did she. Rey gave as good as she got, kissing him back with a rapturous intent, one hand holding him firmly by the back of his neck, the other curled under his arm to grasp his shoulder from behind as she used it as leverage to pull herself up to his kneeling height. He could feel the echo of her contentment, her desire, but the was also a sliver of nervous trepidation about where this would lead. It was eased by her trust for him pulsing through the bond and he soothed it gently with his mind mirroring it on her person by stroking her cheek with his thumb and gently grazing his fingertips up and down her back. He had no intention of taking this too far; they had plenty of time later. For now, he simply wanted her to know how much she meant to him.

She began to shake slightly in his arms, from nerves or from adrenaline, he wasn't completely sure, but it didn't matter. He drew back tucking her head against his chest and wrapping her in his arms his cheek coming to rest atop her head. "Shhh," He hushed smoothing her hair and settling them more comfortably.

"Ben," She said tugging on the front of his tunic, her gaze transfixed on something over his shoulder as her adrenaline induced shaking continued, "Ben… look."

He turned still keeping an arm wrapped around her to see their three kyber crystals lying in the middle of the floor where he had left them. They were exactly as he remembered them, except now they were each a golden amber color in the bright overhead light. His own hand was shaking now as he reached out and picked up his own crystal holding it up to the light and peering at the color that shown through. It truly appeared gold, somewhere in the no-man's land between orange and yellow and he could only imagine how it would look as a blade. She reached out beside him and held up one of her own side-by-side to his; the color was identical. "Two bodies, one force between us." She repeated turning in his arms beaming up at him. His returning smile was broad and bright as he laughed and pecked her on the lips in celebration.

They had been meditating together for nearly two days, so they ate and drank while Rey caught up with BB8 then cleaned up in their private bathrooms before preparing to sleep before making any attempts at assembling their lightsabers. Even just the distance between their rooms was producing the stretching feeling in their bond and Ben tossed and turned for a long while as it pulled against him. He felt across the bond and found that Rey was likewise struggling, but there was a note of stubbornness in her mind maintaining her resolve not to seek him out to alleviate the strain.

Ben had no such interest in denying himself her company, and while their co-dependence troubled him considerably and was certainly something they needed to address, he was exhausted and the only thing he could think of that sounded better than sleeping tucked away in his own bed, was falling asleep tucked against her in hers.

Slipping a loose shirt on with his pants, he crossed into the hall and down to her room knocking on the door. She used the force to open it and he let himself in coming to sit on the bed beside her. "I know you are troubled by this tugging sensation as much as I am." He told her and she pursed her lips not looking at him. "We must address this issue, but for the time being, we both require rest. Please, may I at least sleep on the floor in here?" he asked hoping the floor wouldn't be his only option.

"Don't be silly." She said her eyes flicking to the spot beside her. Following her gaze, he noticed that the sheets had already been folded back, and an extra pillow had been added to supplement the two already crammed under her own head in preparation of his arrival. "Just…" she said sounding a little unsure.

He reached out softly tucking a lock of loose hair behind her ear and said softly, "I assure you, my only wish is sound sleep for the both of us." She nodded and Ben carefully climbed into the bed beside her resisting the urge to curl up against her back where she slept on her side.

Instead he lay on his back as he usually did and gazed up at the ceiling trying to ignore her. After a few minutes she let out a low frustrated groan and rolled towards him letting her forehead fall against his upper arm, her curled up knees grazing his hip. Ben tried to hide a small smile, but when he raised an arm to let her huddle up closer she curled in, resting her head at the junction between his shoulder and chest, her arm flopping out over his torso, and her leg skimming down his own if not fully crossing over it. With a contented smile Ben let his head drop towards her, his nose skimming her scalp and his arm wrapping warmly around her shoulders as they finally began to drift off to sleep.

Ben awoke with Rey's head nestled against his chest, one of her legs firmly wrapped between his own. He was completely content to lay there for the rest of the day, but he needed the bathroom, and he feared that his morning harness, currently pressing into her thigh would put her off. He allowed himself a few more short minutes snuggled into her, running his nose through her hair and memorizing the feel of her against him, but eventually he extracted himself gently settling her head on a pillow despite her muttered protests and made his way into her bathroom to relive himself.

When he returned, she was gazing up at him sleepily from her spot in bed, her hand resting in the rumpled place he had left behind. He had intended to settle in at the desk beside her night stand and work on something until she woke, but her small smile and sweet sleepy gaze drew him in like honey and he returned to her bed slipping back in beside her and propped his head up to look at her.

"Sleep any better?" he asked and she buried her head in her pillow with a slight blush, but after a moment nodded. He chuckled and brushed her hair back from the side of her face tickling her cheek a little with a finger hoping she would turn to look at him.

He wasn't disappointed, and soon her large hazel eyes were gazing up at him a small smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. "I think I was just really tired from the meditation," She said glancing around briefly, "I slept better than I have in a long time."

"Sure it wasn't the company?" Ben teased dancing his fingers along her side.

Rey snorted shaking her head and said disgruntled, "The company snores."

"I do not snore." Ben protested shaking his head.

"Oh ya? Your last bed partner tell you that?" She asked with an eyebrow raised, but when a dark look was her only response, she smirked at him and said, "Then she was being nice" and turned away from him with a snicker.

"No," He said pressing up behind her and leaning over her so he could still see her face, "I was always being watched on the New Order bases. I've seen videos of myself sleeping, and I don't snore Miss." He said goading her ribs with his fingers where he had learned she was ticklish and causing her to squirm away from him.

"Not so popular in the bed partner department then." She jibed squirming away from his fingers, but never leaving the buffer of warmth that he radiated under the covers.

Ben was silent for a moment looking down at her his emotions through the force suddenly feeling more serious. When he spoke, the joking was gone from his voice, but it was soft and honest, "Rey, I won't say I haven't had sex with other women. It wouldn't be the truth and frankly, I'm nearly thirty, it would probably sound a little sad. What I can tell you is that you are the only women I have ever shared my bed with."

Rey looked up at him for a few moments, eyes wide and thoughtful before she pointed deliberately down at the bed they were currently laying on and said, "this is my bed" looking around pointedly as if he was missing something obvious.

Ben couldn't help himself, he laughed. A full-throated laugh that almost hurt it had been so long since he had experienced and buried his face in her abdomen shaking his head at the woman beside him. He knew better than to be frustrated with her for pushing off what he meant to be a serious conversation. She had considered and catalogued what he had said, she would address it when she was ready. "So it is." He agreed sitting up and smiling down at her. "Freshen up and let's meet in the main area for some breakfast." He suggested.

They spent the next two days pouring over the schematics for their lightsabers and putting them together using nothing but the force. They were both nearing completion and taking a break for lunch when Ben looked over at Rey across the table and took a deep breath, "Rey, I need to tell you something." He said his eyes down cast and the food in his mouth tasting like sawdust.

She looked at him expectantly over her own provisions and he sighed, "Everyone always assumed the Knights of Rey were the five Jedi students in training that came with me when I destroyed the temple. They weren't." He looked up from under his hair and lashes to see her studying him with a curious attitude and continued, "I chose the Knights of Rey from amongst First Order forces in training when I first joined the order. Snoke wanted me to recruit force-sensitive individuals from his forces and develop a special strike squad. I was to recruit and train them for special missions, but they were never Jedi, nor were they nearly as strong in the force as any the Jedi Order would ordinarily hope to recruit. Snoke had been killing off all of the truly powerful force users for too long."

"If the Jedi students that followed you weren't the Knights of Ren then, where are they?" Rey asked. No hint of judgement or accusation in her voice, only curiosity.

"You have to understand Rey, I was in… I wasn't in any state of mind to think clearly. I did what I thought was best at the time… They weren't all as old or advanced as me. They ranged in age from seven to nineteen, but they were all powerful with the force if not well trained. I didn't know about the dyad then, shit you would have only been nine or ten, I was worried that one of them would out-shine me one day and that Snoke would choose them over me." He rambled his head in his trembling hands, fingers splayed out in his hair.

"Ben," Rey said softly coming to stand between his knees where he sat at an angle to the table forcing him to look up at her with her nearness. She stroked the hair back from his face sending waves of forgiveness through their bond and said, "It's ok Ben, just tell me what happened."

Ben sighed and leaned forward resting his forehead against her abdomen, his hands clenched together in his lap as her own came to cradle the back of his head, sifting softly into his hair. "I knew of a planet that had been wiped out by the first order a few months before hand. My mother had told me that they had been able to rescue the few survivors, but that it was too close to a First Order out-posting to go back for the supplies. I flew the five of them there and dropped them off. I told them I was going to the Snoke to secure their place and that I would be back for them as soon as it was safe… and I never looked back."

"So there are other force users out there right now?" She asked gazing across the room as she stroked her fingers through his hair comfortingly.

"Maybe, if they survived this long." He agreed, "I removed the planet's information from all of the New Order's records and since the resistance blacklisted them due to the proximity… as far as I know there have been five souls stranded on that planet for a decade."

"We have to go look for them. See what they have learned. Bring them into what we are doing. They can be the first group that we begin training with and from there we can search for more force sensitive children to help." Rey said her excitement growing.

"Rey, even if they're still alive… after what I did to them…" Ben said letting out a heavy sigh somewhere into her midriff.

"Hey," She said tipping his head up to look at her, "That's as good a reason as any to start with them. We have a chance to make this right." She encouraged him brushing hair back from his face gently as she studied the pain in his eyes.

"I'll be lucky if they don't kill me on sight," He said, but his voice was resigned, "I'd deserve it."

"Well then I guess it's a good thing we'll have these fancy new weapons to hold them off with until they can see reason." Rey said giving him a comforting smile. "Tell me about them." She encouraged sitting across from him still holding his hand.

Ben sighed but complied mixing his verbal explanation with images and memories as Rey nibbled on the end of her lunch. "Lango was the oldest apart from myself and was 19 at the time." He explained showing her a memory of himself looking up into the face of a muscular young man 3-4 inches taller than Ben himself with sandy blond hair. He was heavily built and in the process of throwing large rocks over his head at Ben as the latter used the force to throw them to the side.

"I can see why you were intimidated by him." Rey said considering Lango's substantial physique.

Ben glowered at her slightly with pursed lips and said, "He wasn't the one I was worried about. Lango was like a brother to me. He had came to stay with Master Luke not long after Mother sent me there. He was abandoned by his family and we shared a since of… comradery… loss over our situations different as they were. He started to do a little better once Marianna came to stay a couple of years later. She was 16 when I left them. I don't know what happened to her family. She never spoke with me about it, but I think she confided more in Lango." In his mind's eye, Rey could see a thin pale teenaged girl with long red hair and a tall frame that always seemed to stand half inside Lango's shadow. Ben's memory painted her as plain and unworthy of much notice, but Rey could see a silent strength within her that contrasted her delicate beautiful exterior.

"Inem'zerak was a Twi'lek boy who was about twelve when I left them. He was strong with the force, and his family sent him to train with Master Luke only about a year before we left." Ben showed her an image of a boy with dusky blue skin that idolized Ben. He followed him around the temple learning little things from the older boy and pretending to be Ben Solo out on great adventures across the galaxy. As a young man, Ben had found the child more annoying than charming, but Rey could feel the threads of regret looking back on his memories of the child. Rey smiled at the memories of the child squeezing Ben's hand in reassurance.

"The one's that scared me were the twins." He admitted a feint shiver running through him. "I knew that together they would be more powerful than I could ever hope to be." Rey saw two little girls no more than five or six, identical from their dark bronzed skin and chalk white hair down to their perfectly replicated faces, complete with empty eyesockets.

"Miraluka?" Rey breathed in surprise having heard of their kind before, but never seen a living example.

Ben nodded, "At least half, probably more." He agreed, "On their own they are each powerful force users, particularly in mental manipulations, but together they are far stronger than I was, particularly then. The only way that we might overcome them even now is through the power of our dyad bond and the advantage that our training brings us. They were discovered as infants when a group of Nightsisters. When the Nighsisters were eliminated, they were brought to master Luke since none of their own kind could be found so that he could train them. As it stood when I left them at seven on that abandoned planet, they had little control of their mental abilities and had a habit of reading any unshielded mind they came across. It was a mess, even for Master Luke. I was right to fear them. With his affinity for mental manipulation, Snoke would have taken them under his wing likely driving them to execute me to take my place. They're the ones I am most worried about. We can defend ourselves from the others, but we must work on protecting our minds from the twins."

"What are their names?" Rey asked studying his memories of the girls. Ben had been legitimately scared of them, of what they might find within him… and of what they might find to be lacking.

Ben only shrugged, "I do not know if they have begun calling themselves something different now, but they once went by Mira and Luka. Since they had no names they were aware of and refused to abide by any name that Master Luke or any of their care takers gave them, we mostly called them by their race or simply as the twins. Over some time, one began to call the other Mira and the other to call the first Luka so we used those for names until they were old enough to understand that Miraluka was their race, not their names."

Ben could feel Rey's sadness at the story of the young girls and squeezed her hand softly. "They found a family." He assured her, showing her memories of Luke playing on the grass with them, of the identical girls laughing with Inem'zerak, the Twi'lek boy, and of the whole group of them gathered around a dining table eating. Rey smiled at that memory in particular as one little girl sat upon Ben's knee as he carefully guided bites of food into her waiting mouth, her soft hair brushing against his arm. There were faces at that table too that she didn't recognize, ones that brought Ben pain and she assumed they were some of the students killed when Ben brought the temple down.

"We can help them." She assured him smoothing her hand over his skin comfortingly. Ben nodded not looking at her and she could feel his trepidation through their bond. "Let's finish our sabers and fuel up, then we'll go to them."

Ben agreed and they set back to work.

Ben finished his lightsaber about an hour before Rey finished her own, but he waited patiently, enjoying watching her work, guiding the force with her slender fingers until each detail of her new weapon was perfect. He knew she had finished when he felt her concentration and dedication turn to a flash of uncertainty. It fled just as quickly as it had come, but still, she had coursed through her for an instant just as it had coursed through his own veins ever since he put the final piece in place.

"Are you ready?" he asked her his voice low.

She nodded and picked up her staff in both hands, smiling as the metal touched her bare skin for the first time. Ben leaned forwards and grasped his own blade handle in both hands taking in the metal cross-guard and every etch and detail they had planned into it. He couldn't help but smile at how right the weapon felt to him and looked up to see if Rey was ready to deploy their weapons, but to his confusion, her back was turned to him and she was carrying her staff out of the room.

He felt the pull of their bond once she was more than fifteen or twenty steps away and hurried after her lightsaber in hand. She led them to the empty cargo bay where they had sparred previously and she pulled out a pair of workman's gloves tossing him a pair as well. Unlike her weapon, his lightsaber only held an electric field on the cross-guard thus preventing him from needing to use gloves to fight with it, but he accepted them anyways and put them on, the rough texture reminding him that they should re-fuel somewhere with a nice textile or leather marketplace.

When he looked back up at her, she was smiling at him, her saber held out before her, hands positioned over the spindle which would ignite it. Ben covered the button on his on saber with his thumb and nodded. They ignited their sabers together and a warm yellow glow was added to the fluorescent hum of the cargo bay.


End file.
